Gentle Persuasion

Many years ago I was part of a sales team. Management wanted us to approach our customers with a lighter method than our competitors. What was being used more commonly at the time was a very aggressive, “in-your-face” technique that amounted to bullying customers into buying. Our company came up with a conversational technique called “gentle persuasion.”

It has been a long time since I worked for that company. Perhaps the reason I remembered it was because I was thinking about how political candidates and special interest groups attempt to influence us. Advertising becomes more aggressive as we near the election. Thinking about these two approaches gave me cause for pause in how I approach people with whom I differ.

When we disagree on topics some of us feel compelled to defend our position aggressively. Some people might justify their approach on the admonition of the apostle Peter (1 Peter 3:15). Unfortunately, the intent of that counsel has been bent over the years. Peter said to be “ready to make a defense” for the “reason for the hope (or faith) in you”. That passage has been used as a basis for justifying hard line proselytizing many times.

But there’s more to the scripture and it includes how to make that defense. The rest of the scripture says to do so “with a mild temper (or gently) and deep respect.” We often miss that subtle nuance when defending our position. If we must live our lives on the defense it requires us to fight for what we want. Being on the offense can be just as damaging to our spirit. With that ideology we can end up spending our time scheming to take what we want.

There is another way to live life and state our position to others. It requires a decision on our part and it is not one that is easy for some people. Like all the principles of the Science of Mind, this principle is a simple one, yet simple is not synonymous with easy. The decision we must make is to acknowledge that as convincing as our arguments might be it is entirely possible we will be unsuccessful in convincing others to take up our position.

That’s hard for many. It requires us to believe that regardless of what we see before us or no matter how much potential we recognize in the life of our friend or partner, we must allow others to believe and live their lives as they see fit. It is easier to do this when we come to the table with a sincere desire to understand, instead of gearing up for a fight or a conquest.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

The Magic Pill

Our country is obsessed with the “quick fix.” From a pill to make it all better and fast food to satisfy our hunger, we Americans love to have it now.

The challenges of life are seldom solved with the immediacy we might desire. It takes time to overcome and heal our issues. Faith in God, the Universe or a master teacher can help with finding solutions, but what happens when the object of our faith is reduced to being nothing more than a “magic pill?”

I thought about this last Sunday morning while listening to a sermon on the radio. The evangelist was preaching about having faith in Jesus to reach the reward of heaven. But little if anything was said about enjoying life to the fullest while still here on earth. Any pleasure, any satisfaction, any fulfillment was delayed until being united with the Lord. Everything that happened was up to Jesus. It was as if we had no say whatsoever in the outcome.

Jesus never taught us to sit back and wait. He was a man of action. When he prayed he expected results, as should we! The evangelist I listened to was quick to blame the Devil for everything that we judge as bad, or that if things didn’t turn out to our liking then it was not God’s will for us to have whatever it is we desired. Feeling like we have no control over our situation makes it easy to ignore the present “hoping” for a better future. We fail to appreciate the gift of the present.

If a woman is in her third abusive relationship it isn’t the Devil’s fault and God certainly didn’t create the situation for her pain. That’s like blaming Mother Nature for us being wet if we choose to venture outside in the rain without an umbrella. A little common sense goes a long way to right the wrongs in our life, but this requires that we change our attitudes and actions. In the case of the abusive relationship, there is something familiar about repeating the mistake. Familiarity means “I know how to do this because I’ve done it before,” so we tend to repeat the mistakes of our past expecting different results. It doesn’t work.

Blaming of others and relying on the mood of a divine power is not what Jesus taught. It is, however, a great way to live life as a victim. By taking responsibility for our actions, and taking action that is in accord with the greatest good for all concerned, we move forward in faith so that our desires are made manifest.

It is through our faith, in whatever we believe, that we are empowered to affect change in our lives. Though we cannot change someone else, we can change our attitude about the situation. By doing so, we will not fall into the trap of searching for a magic pill while life passes us by.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Of All the Unmitigated Gall!

I’m growing weary of people in our country who judge others by putting themselves up on a pedestal. I’m ashamed to say that most of the people I see doing this are Christians, or at least those who claim to be. I’m sure there are Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, atheists and (gasp!) even Religious Scientists who might fit into this category, but people who call themselves Christians are what we seem to have an abundance of here in Central Pennsyltucky, so Christians it is.

TWICE, not just once, but TWICE, dear ones, I have had a run-in with a “Christian” in a gas-guzzling pickup truck while driving from our farmette in Carlisle to my Center in Camp Hill down Rt. 641. Both vehicles were so high off the ground I’m sure they required a step ladder to board. The trucks were covered with NRA and “Jesus is my co-pilot” bumper stickers and more American flags than you see at the VFW hall on Memorial Day.

One driver was a guy who puts the “red” in redneck. I’m sure he makes his mama proud. He simultaneously flipped off another driver while swerving through traffic and was still able to toss his lit cigarette out of the window. What skill. The other was a blonde in a tank top that had seen better days in a time when it actually fit both of her breasts (take this as my nod to “Feel your boobies” this month…which you should be doing). While yakking on her cell phone she was Christian enough to speed up and cut off an elderly woman who was trying desperately to get out into traffic. The poor old broad nearly had a heart attack. Bless her heart.

Okay, now that I have all THAT out of my system it’s time to tell you why I chose to write about this issue. It’s not just Christians and I’m not Christian-bashing, so if you’re Christian please don’t get your knickers in a twist and send me encyclopedic emails. I was, as you can readily ascertain, in high-bustle reaction to two people on two different days who are themselves probably quick to tout rightwing, evangelical values while judging Democrats, gays, blacks, anyone with an Arab-sounding name and the rest of the people in town who are not gun-toting, gas-guzzling, flag-waving believers in Jesus.

And you know who else does the same thing? Me. That is what this is about and not Christian-bashing. Those of us in the Science of Mind philosophy and other New Thought or metaphysical teachings who talk about the Love of the Universe out of one side of our mouths and then look down on someone who has made life choices that are different than our own are making judgments. The scenario applies to anyone who wants to talk the talk more than s/he wants to walk the walk.

Christianity and living the Science of Mind principles are not something we practice only on Sunday at church or while in class. They are supposed to be a way of life, not an occasional activity. My story about the two drivers and all my judgment of them is not about two faux Christians. It is about my own decision to judge the situation as bad, instead of allowing myself to observe what I was doing and consciously choose to apply the principles I teach.

It brought me back to the Christian teaching of my youth: Take the rafter out of your own eye before you try taking the splinter out the eye of someone else. What I saw made me angry. When I realized what I’d done I felt shame, which was appropriate under the circumstances. It also gave me the opportunity to be able to change my thoughts and my experience. And that, my friends, was a good thing.

In Spirit, Truth, Playfulness…and this week….Humility,

Terry

What's Next?

There are very few “overnight sensations” in Nashville. Most of the “new” performers and acts have actually been around for years, sometimes decades, working honky-tonk after honky-tonk. Often they have barely gotten by.

Successful people are highly motivated to work tirelessly to reach their goals, yet their accomplishments can look so easy. In truth it should be easy. Success is not something that is an elusive, unattainable dream. If we truly believe in the Law of Cause and Effect we know how to focus our minds on the expected results, not all the reasons why we cannot attain what we desire. We know how to allow Spirit to move through us to manifest those desires.

Manifestation is Science of Mind 101. We don’t believe we can have everything we want; Ernest Holmes said if humans could do that it would not bode well! However, we learn early on in the study of metaphysics that there is a Law of Good in the universe and we have every divine right to use it and enjoy the benefits. The first part is simple for any practitioner of this philosophy. The latter, however, can be a different story, since simple doesn’t mean easy.

Enjoying the benefits of success is difficult for many of us. Perhaps our reluctance to enjoy our good work comes from the medieval pro-Church teaching preached in many churches that to be approved of by God we must be poor and martyred. This is the opposite of what the Bible says. The Old Testament God Jehovah challenged his people to put Him to the test to provide for them. The Great Teacher, Jesus, said to ask of the Father and we would receive.

Receiving is a good thing, be it praise, position or material belongings. Once we have walked the long path to our goals it behooves us to take the time to celebrate those wins, acknowledge our work, and know that a Power greater than we can imagine has expressed life through us as no one else can.

I teach people to write down three separate lists at least twice a year. Those are: What you want in your life; what you don’t want in your life; and, most important, all the people, places, things and beliefs for which you are grateful. Take a few minutes over the next three days to write at least one list per day. Then on the third day, rejoice and celebrate your accomplishment!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Eavesdropping is So Enlightening

We recently moved to a smaller town. The main post office is quite neighborly, with many of the patrons chatting back and forth while waiting in line. I was busy affixing 377 stamps to a mass mailing this week and was able to pass the time listening in to what other people were saying. Oh stop gasping, for heaven’s sake. It’s not like they were trying to be private!

Here are some of the comments I overheard:

· “I’m doing good. It beats the alternative!”

· “It just keeps getting worse and worse. Floods, hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes. What’s next?”

· “You oughta know by now I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.”

· “She needs to put a smile on her face, that one does.”

· “It don’t matter. Nothing does.”

Each of these folks believed what they were saying. They came in all colors, ages, socioeconomic status and educational levels. In spite of the area being predominately white, conservative Christians, at least there wasn’t any evidence that morning of racial prejudice. I was impressed by that!

The majority of the other comments showed a range of despair, resignation or fear. The expressions accompanying the words resulted in frowns, slumped shoulders and sighs. Rather than judge what these folks should be doing to change their thinking, I chose to think about what negative self-talk I had engaged in that day.

I am my own worst critic. I am particular about many things, often fighting my anal-retentive or dogmatic tendencies about certain tasks, and must remind myself daily that no matter how hard I try I will simply never please everyone. Putting myself down, however, doesn’t help the situation.

Take just one hour today and listen to what is going on inside your head. Ask yourself if that is what you want to believe. Think about what the reaction would be from a good friend if you talked that way to them!

Hopefully your thoughts are filled with encouragement, praise and support. If not, consider what it would take to lovingly guide yourself back onto the path you wish to travel!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Choose the Stream

We have all seen televangelists or motivational speakers. Some of them seem to have the same smile on their face constantly. I find that kind of perennial “happy go lucky” or “everything is just wonderful all the time” attitude incredibly unbelievable. No one is happy all the time.

When we admit that the only constant in the universe is change we also realize that “shift” happens and we are not always going to like it. In the Science of Mind philosophy we do not ignore the facts. Ernest Holmes taught us that our experience is as real as we need it to be.

That does not mean, however, that thinking nice thoughts or spouting trite affirmations will make everything in our world hunky dory. We can be so metaphysically high that we are no earthly good. We chose on some level to be in human form. Because of that fact we must acknowledge the physical part of our being. We then decide just how real we need the physical part to be.

Gravity is one of those physical parts. I would love to fly through the air like Superman, but since that is not likely to happen I tend to shy away from the edges of tall buildings and sheer drop-offs. It does not mean I cannot learn to hang-glide or get on an airplane. We learn to change the things we can and accept the things we cannot. One way of doing this is to “go with the flow.”

One thing to remember about going with the flow is that dead fish can go with the flow. Aligning ourselves with the universe does not mean we must ride along in life and take what we can get, becoming bruised and bloody from hitting all the rocks while going downstream. Science of Mind teaches us to choose our experience. In this case, we get to choose the stream when we go with the flow.

Going with the flow of life also eliminates much of the stress that we heap upon ourselves in modern society. I am writing this at this particular time because the program I was going to watch on TV is unavailable – the satellite is down due to a thunderstorm. I can spend the next hour trying to get through to our satellite provider and create an immense amount of stress while being on hold or dealing with a call service center. Or, I can assume that it will be corrected later in the day, sit down to write my blog for this week and then play with the cats.

Will the stream you choose take you to the sewage plant or a sea of opportunity? Will you choose an exciting life by shooting the rapids or the tranquility and safety of a pristine lake? Neither answer is correct. You are empowered to choose any possibility and enjoy the outcome or experience the consequences. I hope you appreciated the stream I chose this afternoon!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

True Prosperity

I once heard a wonderful definition for American prosperity: Buying things you don't want with money you don't have to impress people you don't like.

I mean seriously … just how “much” DO we need? Life can be such a dichotomy. In March in Pennsylvania we saw one of the largest Mega Millions jackpots while locally school districts throughout the Commonwealth are dealing with cutbacks and layoffs.

The countries of the world spend billions of dollars on military offensive and defensive maneuvering purportedly to make the world a better place to live for people who do not have enough to eat and lack healthcare.

Young and old alike can look at the present financial projections for the coming decades and wonder if we will have what we need to survive as we enter retirement. Some of us, like those in the Congo, Libya and too many other countries including our own, might even wonder if we will have enough for tomorrow.

But what really is “enough”? We can look at current world events and use them as a wakeup call for our western thinking about prosperity and supply. As a metaphysician I know that there is always “enough”. The Universe is abundant and lacks for nothing. That, however, is hardly comforting to the senior living alone and hungry, or parents who cannot afford adequate shelter for their children.

The answer is not to throw money at the problem or argue whether our political party has a better idea. What we can all do is look at what we have, appreciate and bless it, and then share it with those we see in need to the best of our ability. Prosperity is not money. Money is only a convenient way for us to share resources in modern society.

Let go of solving all the problems in the world or worrying yourself sick thinking about it. Do what you can locally and personally to make the world a better place. Give something of value to someone in need today. It can be as simple as a smile, which, if memory serves me correctly, costs nothing but a little effort.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry