FEAR

F.E.A.R.

Fear stops many of us from living life to the fullest. Much of the trepidation around changes of any kind in our lives stems from a foundation of fear. We often deal with situations in our lives, yet we worry about the outcome.

Ernest Holmes wrote that the word “fear” is an acronym for “False Evidence Appearing Real.” One of the ways we can see how this shows up is when we are faced with the challenge of telling someone something we are confident is going to upset them. Whether it is the process of getting up the courage to let a friend know we have failed to follow through, or telling our mother we broke her favorite vase, our mind chatter can create numerous scenarios of the outcome – none of which are in our favor.

Once we follow through with approaching the situation with the other person, however, we may find the response quite different. Over the Christmas holidays I accidently knocked into a cabinet in the kitchen causing a ceramic cup to go crashing to the floor. I assumed it was a family heirloom – other things on the shelves were – and spent the good part of the day fretting because I thought I had to inform my partner when he got home from work that I had shattered a precious possession of his departed mother.

Imagine my shock when he laughed and told me the cup was purchased only a few weeks before when we had been out antiquing! He said he paid less than two dollars for it. For this I anguished all afternoon?!?

If we place ourselves in dangerous situations then a little well-placed, rational fear is probably appropriate. Our bodies have the ability to release the appropriate chemicals when it is necessary for us to react more quickly than normally. Seldom, however, is this required on a daily basis in the lives of most of us.

The next time fear of challenge or change appears in your life, take a moment to approach it with childlike wonderment and excitement. Yes, taking responsibility and facing challenges can be scary, but only if we allow it to be so. My friend, Marie, shared a new acronym with me for the word “fear”: Feeling Excited And Ready!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

The Leopard's Spots

I was recently in a discussion with someone who could not have been further away from my way of thinking if he tried. Actually, he did try and probably moved another few feet away, but I digress.

My friend was so recalcitrant in his beliefs that we ended up agreeing to disagree. It was then that he said, “You know a leopard can’t change his spots.” I suppose not, I thought.

Then I thought again. He’s not a leopard. He’s a walking, talking, breathing, sentient being that can analyze a situation and make a judgment call. He can weigh different sides of an issue at any given time and determine his stand, which could be different today than it was last week.

My friend probably can’t change the color of his hair (his spots) without chemical assistance, but he can change his thinking. We all can. But, as Einstein said, we cannot continue to think the same thoughts and expect different results.

He believes differently than I do. He believes he’s a product of his genetic background and family history. I think that’s a cop out and excuse for bad behavior, but that’s my judgment of him, not necessarily the truth. I also admit my judgment is heavily colored by the fact that he disagrees with me, which with him I find quite annoying!

When I admitted that fact it caused me to look at my own “spots.” I can’t change anyone’s thinking except my own. Instead of thinking of all the ways I could change his thinking (that would, of course, benefit him immensely, alter his life and make him a more pleasant companion in my mind), I decided to change my opinion about him. He’s perfectly fine the way he is. There’s nothing to change, except my attitude.

Part of that attitude means I don’t pity him when things go wrong for him due to his belief system or buy into his idea that the world is a horrible place where everyone is out to get him. I can empathize without sympathizing. I can also be the friend for him that I want him to be for me.

If you have someone in your life like my friend, be kind to them. Instead of criticizing them for their differences, embrace their individuality, love them and find all the good in them that you can.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Staying in Touch

Learn from the past, keep our eye on future goals, but live in the present. This agrees with Science of Mind philosophy. We must be present in the moment.

Last week, however, I learned the hard way how not keeping in touch with our roots can have a devastating effect on our mood and consciousness. I received a letter from an old friend in North Carolina to whom I had sent a Christmas card. He was writing to tell me that his partner of over 20 years had died of a rare stomach cancer nearly two years ago. They did not have email (still do not) and I never got advised of the death.

I had always planned to drive down to visit them, but did not. We had not spent any time together since I left the Atlanta area in 2000. I was still reeling from the news when, the very next day, I received a letter in response to my Christmas card from a friend in California. I have known this couple since the late 1980s. You guessed it. The other partner died nearly two year ago from a brain tumor. This couple had been partners for over 25 years. Again, I was not told at the time.

This story is being shared with you to remind us all that life can be unexpectedly cut short. Scripture says that “time and unforeseen circumstances befall us all.” This fact of life is why it is crucial to live in the present, holding our friendships as precious and dear, and doing everything we can to live in integrity.

We live in a busy world; often much busier than it needs to be, but that is a fact of life for many people I know. Take the time to keep in touch. Write the email. Send a card snail mail. Make the call. Hug your loved ones every time you see them.

I cherish the memories I have of my friends who have recently passed on and I know they are doing great things wherever their consciousness now resides. If you have someone significant in your life with whom you have not recently connected do yourself and them a favor: Get in touch today!

In loving memory of Mike and Jon,

Terry

Past, Present and Future

Many people have been using the past week or so to review their recent past (2011), to think about where they are right now and to make plans and preparations for the future. 2012 promises to be a year of change and excitement!

There are some people who believe that the winter solstice on December 21, 2012, will mark the end of the world based on the “ending” of the Mayan calendar. The Mayans, however, were more farsighted than many in our time.

The Mayans understood that to move forward with new thoughts and plans we have to release the past. According to one belief, a 25,630 year “life cycle” of our planet is ending this year and another will initiate. If this is true then it behooves us to do everything possible to prepare for that change.

2012 can be a year of release for us all. A time to let go of the past, including thoughts of anger, fear and regret. This can be the year we commit to living authentically as the unique life force that we each are individually. All of us have a gift to give to others, a gift that is our ultimate purpose. Giving this gift allows us to bless the planet and has the added benefit of providing the peace of mind that so many seek.

Scripture says that “time and unforeseen circumstances befall us all.” Since change is the only constant in the Universe it stands to reason that living in the moment, with reflection of the past and an eye on the future, insures that we get the most out of each and every day.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Happy New Year!

The last day of 2011! The CSLCV community began our release of this year earlier this week at our Recharge on Wednesday service. One of the points I made was something I learned from another CSL minister many years ago.

"Release" of the old is not just about all the things in our lives during the past year that we judged as "bad." Rather, true release of the past is release of ALL of the past - that which we judged as "good" as well as that which we judged otherwise.

Fond memories of the past can stop us from having a satisfying present and future just as much as the memories we have of pain and suffering IF we allow those memories to set an unachievable standard. This weekend we will have two opportunities as a group to release the past and embrace the future.

First, this evening, Saturday, December 31, at 7:00pm is the Traditional Unity New Year's Eve Burning Bowl Service at Unity of Harrisburg. Then on Sunday, January 1, 2012, at 10:00am we will meet again at Unity for our first Sunday service of 2012.

My talk is Looking Ahead - 2012 is Here! This service will be the kick-off for our journey into the basic principles of Science of Mind over the next four weeks. I am offering this basic New Thought series to help the Unity congregation align with the principles upon which their church was founded, which will provide a firm foundation as they seek their next pastor.

I was delighted last Sunday to announce that the board of trustees at Unity has asked me to stay on another month as the guest speaker on Sundays, which I accepted! I am already planning those service with our music director, Kate McCutchan, to continue our efforts in producing a flowing service of love, support, laughter and empowerment each and every Sunday.

Yes, there is much to release from 2011, including fond memories to savor and in which to delight. Some would have us believe that 2012 will be scary and unsure (if you choose to believe the media!), but for those of us grounded in Principle it provides a clean slate for a future filled with joy, peace and wonderment. Which, not so coincidentally, is the same opportunity we are given by Spirit each and every second of each and every day.

From my family and me to you and yours, Happy New Year!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Using Our Voice

I am often asked by my husband, “You know that was your out loud voice, right?” I have tried to learn over the years to put my brain into gear before putting my mouth into motion, but every so often I just get the order confused.

Using our out loud voice for our inside thoughts happens when we tell the truth without a filter or at least our truth at that time. What would it be like if we all told the truth consistently? Children and very old persons are the best examples of simply “telling it like it is.” Both groups often speak with no filter, ignoring social norms and acceptable behavior. The truth of their sayings can be jarring, but the essence is pure.

Common courtesy and decorum are two reasons most cited as to why we do not speak our minds. A more honest reason would be that we do not want to deal with the consequences of telling the truth. It is easy to soft pedal the answer, skirt around the issue, or refuse to commit one way or the other.

Speaking our mind and making a decision is the only way to move forward in life. The Rev. Dr. Raymond Charles Barker once wrote about people “who do not know what to do or do not know what they want.” His opinion was that what they were really saying is that they “are too lazy to determine [their] own experience or think another person is better equipped to determine [their] good.” Dr. Barker used his out loud voice a lot.

Using our voice for making a decision and telling the truth is a way for us to free ourselves from the shackles of indecision and frustration. If there is an ongoing issue in your life, take some time to decide what you want to do about it. If you do not know what to do, remember the words of Dr. Barker and give me a call to talk…

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

"No" Is a Complete Sentence

I have very few friends or acquaintances that are not over-scheduled or stressed-out because of the demands they have put on themselves. Like attracts like, so I too fall into that category more often than I would care to admit.

Please note that I did not blame this on the demands placed on us by others, but rather those that we place on ourselves. We have only ourselves to credit with being too busy, even if it was at the insistence of someone else that we do something. Why? Because we said “yes.”

We frequently say “yes” because we cannot think of a convenient, believable or acceptable reason why we should say “no.” How about “I do not want to do that” for starters?

“No” is a complete sentence. I am usually amused, sometimes annoyed, by people who respond negatively to a request I have made, only to follow their answer with a litany of reasons or excuses why they cannot comply. Personally, I do not need your reasons or your excuses. I hope you are unable to fulfill my request because you have something even more wonderful and exciting to do. Good for you!

If you do not want to do something someone else asks of you, please say “no.” Not, “No, because…” Acting out of obligation instead of willingness does not encourage clarity; neither does making excuses that sound like our own personal pity party. When we agree to do anything we do not want to do we muddy the energy around us. Instead of enjoying the task, we experience an underlying, nagging feeling of resentment. Why not respectfully decline and allow someone else who wants to fulfill the request be given the opportunity to serve?

Just for part of today, think carefully before you answer “yes” to something you do not want to do. Weigh the outcome, take a deep breath, and then answer from your heart. If you can say “no” without anger, resentment or attitude you will find a freedom you have not experienced up until now.

In Spirit, Joy and Playfulness,

Terry