Not Choosing IS Choosing

(Originally written April 6, 2012, but not published)

I’m a firm believer in blogging when you have something to say. This week I really don’t have a cute story, any deep insights to share or a foible of my own to report for amusement and education. It’s a busy week with extra services for Holy Week, caring for my Dad and living the life I have chosen to live – all good stuff, actually! But a full-out, blog to share – Iit ain’t happening.

We all have choices to make in life. When our lives get overly complicated and we are in the “busy-ness” of life, it can be enticing to “just let things happen.” As I told my Unity congregation last Sunday, “Not choosing IS choosing.” If we decide to live life that way then there is one rule: We don’t get to bitch about the results if we don’t like what shows up.

If you are celebrating Good Friday and Easter, or observing Passover, may your weekend be blessed by renewal, rebirth, resurrection and the joy of spring!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Consequences

(Originally written March 30, 2012, but not posted)

Whether or not we are aware of it, the Universal Law of Cause and Effect operates at all times in our lives. Our thoughts, both conscious and unconscious, are constantly forming our reality. The results of those thoughts produce what we think are rewards and consequences.

It is our ego that is into judging, not the Universe. We judge some outcomes and situations as rewards, sometimes even miracles. Other results we deem consequences or occasionally disasters.

It is easiest to understand this concept when we have created and achieved a goal, or when we have planned some event and it falls apart. We see these situations as achievements (rewards) or failures (consequences). Then we get caught up in what other people are saying. It is fascinating to me that no one ever seems to say, “I just KNEW that was going to happen!” about anything good. The statement is almost always attributed to failure.

The only illusion is that we can control our entire lives. We can try, but the result is a white-knuckle ride that almost always ends badly. Control is a result of our ego needing to be right, not living in the flow of life. We can use metaphysical principles to have a better life, but we cannot exercise complete control of the conditions around us.

What we can control is our reaction to conditions. We get to decide what we are going to think. No one else can take away that right without our permission. And to control our reactions we have to ask ourselves the question, “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?” And, no, the answer is not to sit there and whine that you want both.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

You're Gonna Get a Pimple

(Was originally released March 23, 2012, but didn't get posted)

I am alternately amused, annoyed and perplexed at how much I, and others around me, can fuss about the most insignificant things. I remember a discussion not too long ago about what color to paint a room in our home. That decision was preceded by high-level negotiations about the necessity of a wall border, and ultimately which border to choose since he had to have his way about having one – oops, “someone” apparently still has some energy on that! The scene entertained the staff at the wallpaper store (they actually asked us to come back the following week), though I considered seeking a peace accord from NATO.

My standard comment to someone who bumps me with their grocery cart or walks in front of me is, “No worries. Compared to world peace, how important is it?” But when it came to that room, the color of the paint and that darn wall border, I had to at least have my way in something. Or perhaps it would be more correct to say my ego needed it.

Life is about perspective. I can assure you that as I sat in my father’s hospital room this week the last thing on my mind was the weeding and cleanup I need to do on what will become our meditation shade garden. I was focused on my father’s issues, not mine. Though the chores still need doing (Pennsylvania Dutch grammar for those of you not here locally), I’m not going to get a pimple over it.

That saying comes from a friend of mine years ago who would listen quietly as I ranted and raved about the “issue du jour” and, when I was done, draw slowly on her cigarette and say, in her raspy voice while shaking her cigarette and ashes in my direction, “You’re gonna get a pimple. Uh-huh….you are.” Then she’d go back to drinking her Tuaca* (straight up, of course, no ice) and smoking while nodding her head knowingly. I hated it when she did that. It also annoyed me that she was right. My issues were normally pretty stupid to be all hot and bothered about. But I was 25 years old, and everything was an issue!

The next time you are faced with a situation that annoys you, whether it’s the actions of someone else, a world event or your own foibles, stop and ask yourself one question: “How important will this be in five years?” Our egos will insist on us being right and getting our way, but at what cost? Is it really all that important? Will worrying, fretting and getting angry solve anything?

Stop, take a deep breath and take stock of what is really important in your life. We’ve all heard the counsel “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Here’s a news flash: In the grand scheme of things, it’s all small stuff.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

*Tuaca – I know someone will ask…It’s a citrus, vanilla liqueur that looks a little like old motor oil and tastes a lot like battery acid. It’s to be sipped, not slammed. Trust me on this.

Shedding

I would stop writing about our cats every week, but they are just such darn good teachers! The issue this week seems to be shedding. The lint roller is working overtime because it’s not a good idea to leave our house without attending to the cat hair.

It’s just that time of year. If you have pets you probably deal with shedding. It’s another sign of spring but neither fragrant as the hyacinths nor as beautiful as the crocuses. The cats’ winter coats are no longer useful or needed, so their bodies are relieving them of the additional layer of fur.

How easy is that? They no longer need the additional weight and just let it go. How would it be if our burdens were released as easily and without a second thought? Our ego minds might immediately jump to the defense of keeping drama and difficulty in our lives by telling us that our issues are far more complicated than a natural process like shedding. But are they?

That argument begs the discussion of just how complicated we want our lives to be. Ernest Holmes said that our problems are as real as we need them to be. We can ask ourselves: How hard do I want life to be? How much do I want to struggle with issues? What hoops do I insist on jumping through when it is not required?

The questions I like to pose to myself when I feel I must do something are: What would happen if I didn’t do it? Would the world stop? Would my family despise me? Would I even remember the drama five years from now?

I’m posing a lot of questions this week for which I offer no answers. Each of us must individually decide what battles we will fight and which ones we choose to walk away from. Life offers challenges. How much struggle we experience is up to us.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Human Rights

I am writing my blog this week from New York City, where I am one of five adults acting as chaperons for 37 youth from Carlisle High School. We are here at the New York Hilton and United Nations for the National High School Model United Nations conference. Just us and over 3,000 teenagers from all over the world!

I’ve been told that some of the resolutions passed here at the mock U.N. over the years have been sent on to the actual United Nations – and that some of the ideas have been adopted. Our keynote speaker last night for the Opening Session was Shula Koenig, founder of the People’s Movement for Human Rights Learning (PDHRE) and a recipient of the 2003 United Nations Prize in the Field of Human Rights, an award given to five people every five years since 1966. Often when we speak of “human rights” we package the discussion as a political, economic, social or cultural issue.

Ms. Koenig says it is none of those. Human rights are human rights – period. As a culture we enact laws, policies and regulations to protect those rights, but the rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that we claim to hold so dear in our country should not be up for debate or discussion.

Few of us are in a position to impact a large number of people as is Ms. Koenig. She has spoken to people of all socioeconomic levels in more than 60 countries. She is 82 years old and I describe her as a saucy, German grandmother who shoots from the hip. Her clarity and passion for equality are intoxicating.

Just because we may not regularly speak to large groups of people doesn’t mean we are powerless to affect change. Every day we each come into contact with situations in which the rights of people around us are being violated. We can offer small gestures that have a great impact on those people whose hopes, dreams and goals are suppressed.

We can help to educate those individuals who appear to be victims by assisting them to see other options for life. Our teachings about thinking positively and relying on Universal support can go a long way if we are walking the walk ourselves, not just talking the talk. We don’t need to laugh at jokes that are “funny” at the expense of others due to race, color, sexual or gender orientation, or those physically or mentally challenged – and we certainly don’t have to forward them to our friends and family!

Open a door for a stranger. Offer to help someone elderly get an item off a high shelf at the grocery store. Approach a homeless person, instead of averting your eyes, and offer to buy them a meal. Lead by example. There will be no fanfare, ticker tape parade or award ceremony. There will, however, be a shift in consciousness, one person at a time, to support everyone around you to be more loving, more forgiving and more understanding of our human conditions.

Having rights as human beings is not an option. Doing something about supporting the rights of others instead of complaining about inequality is a choice. Choosing to support others requires courage, consistency and determination. I know you are up to the task. Now – go change the world…one person at a time!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Relentless Positive Action

Just a few weeks ago I heard the term “relentless positive action.” Positive action I get. I have been practicing living a more forward moving, positively enforced life for over two decades. I teach this to my congregations and clients. But “relentless?”

At the risk of making this another “cat blog” I must use our oldest cat, Dillon, as our model of Principle in Action this week. Dillon loves to drape himself over you and then fall fast asleep. He’s not particular about whether it’s your thigh while you are sitting watching TV, over your head and shoulders while perched above you on a high backed chair, or on your arm as you are trying to use your computer mouse.

He just needs to be near us. It really doesn’t matter what our agenda is. Having food on your lap, reading a book or making notes for a future talk is of no consequence. He intends to occupy the space he desires. Your sandwich, your book or your notepad are not simply irrelevant; they don’t even fit into the equation. His sweet face and sad eyes will get you every time if you attempt to push him away.

He is relentless, positive action in motion. The needs or desires of other creatures don’t register on his radar. He is being driven by instincts that compel him to fulfill his immediate need regardless of the consequences. As human beings we don’t have that luxury if we are to operate harmoniously in society.

Those who are not relentless in their pursuit of happiness and fulfillment in life are stopped by the smallest inconvenience. What’s keeping me from the gym today? Who’s stopping me from taking more candy off the grocery list? Which project needs so much attention that I can’t find fifteen minutes to do my yoga routine? If we need an excuse to get off course, we’ll find one.

So how do we move forward, relentless in our pursuit of our vision in a positive manner without bulldozing over everything and everyone in our way? Balance and intention hold the key. Spirit doesn’t fulfill our desires at the expense of people around us. We also need to make sure that the company we keep is supportive of our hopes, dreams, goals and vision.

Relentless positive action also means we re-evaluate our course frequently, making the corrections necessary to achieve our goals. We learn to compromise in the process, yet hold fast to our integrity and moral values that make us who we are. We strive to align ourselves with like-minded people who support our life journey and have a vision that we can similarly support. This week strive to be relentless in the positive forward motion of your life vision and goals!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

A Good Scratch

After dinner the other night one of our four cats, Squeekers, was finally given the attention he so consistently demanded throughout the meal. Leaping up onto a convenient lap he enjoyed getting his nose scratched. He closed his eyes (I swear he was smiling) and to all appearances seemed to have completely tuned out the world around him.

When was the last time you felt that content, that satisfied and that fulfilled? Hopefully you can recount numerous occasions in the past week, but sadly many of us cannot. We can get so caught up in the “busy-ness” of life that we forget to enjoy those brief yet ultimately satisfying moments.

It is far too easy to complain about all the time we do not have. Thanks to 24-hour news channels and smart phones we are subjected to information overload. We are not victims of technology; we choose to be willing volunteers for this electronic abuse. Have you considered taking a break from it?

Leaving on a two-week vacation may not be possible for you this week or even in the foreseeable future. But taking a bit of time, even a minute, just for yourself is most definitely something you can do. The next time you make yourself a cup of coffee or tea take a minute (just 60 seconds), sit down and enjoy the aroma and warmth. Lie down on the couch and have a five-minute nap. This seemingly insignificant amount of time can do wonders to rejuvenate you.

I threw caution to the wind last week and treated myself to a soothing bath by candlelight. I even closed the door to the bathroom! I neglected, however, to see one of the cats, Lucy, between the shower curtains on the tub ledge before easing into the hot, soapy water. Knowing that God is always in charge, I found the purring was a wonderful addition to my meditation.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry