Honesty

It’s been said that the very young and the very old are brutally honest. Young children haven’t yet come to understand the concept of politeness in society. The very elderly, quite frankly, just don’t care sometimes. They believe they’ve earned the right to speak their minds without necessarily caring how it is received. The nearer I get to 60 the more that seems perfectly logical to me.

I decided a long time ago not to wait until I was in my 90s to start speaking my mind. I still fail miserably (by my personal standards) in speaking up the way I could, but I continue to work on myself in this regard. We can learn from the two groups of people I mentioned:  Those who are beginning their trek on this planet and those who are readying themselves for their next experience. We don’t need to blurt out whatever is on our minds at the expense of others, but we do learn to speak the truth even if there is some collateral damage.

I have found one of the easiest ways to answer a question is by telling the truth as succinctly and plainly as possible. It eliminates the need to remember what I said the last time someone asked me the same question because I know I didn’t make up some lie that was “white” or convenient. It often tends to shut people up who are just complaining. They become righteously indignant that you actually told them they look ridiculous in the outfit they are wearing or that you don’t agree that they should go back to their abusive partner for the twentieth time.

Why don’t we always tell the truth and tell it quickly? Sometimes we don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings. There are ways to tell the truth without offending people, but it still must be the truth. The major reason we don’t always tell truth is that we’ve done something we don’t want other people to know about or we are ashamed of our actions. There was a simple rule of thumb my mother gave us growing up:  When is doubt, don’t. It is also perfectly wise advice and eloquently simplistic.

Another reason is that if we tell our partner that our relationship is over because you can’t take one more lie we might just have to deal with the outcome of that statement. It’s been my experience that when one person in a relationship is ready to move on the other person is a well, whether or not s/he wants to admit it. Telling the truth may mean packing some boxes and moving out, but it beats packing down our feelings until we are moved to emotional collapse and spiritual ruin.

Consider taking a day, or even a week, to be aware of what is coming out of your mouth, and judging (for yourself) whether or not it’s really the truth. If is not, what would you be willing to do to rephrase your statement?

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Yesterday Ended Last Night

Ministers are unapologetic about borrowing ideas from one another in an effort to serve their congregations. The title of my blog this week is blatantly copied from my dear friend and mentor, Dr. Arleen Bump. It was also the title of her talk last Sunday at her center in Fort Lauderdale.

Dr. Arleen’s talk was about letting go. To move forward in life we must live in the present while focusing on the future. I remember on Wednesday evening many years ago in Glendale, California, we watched Dr. Arleen demonstrate “backing into our future.” She visually made her point as she focused on the back of the sanctuary while walking backwards into one of the potted plants on stage. I think of how often I’ve tried that in my own life, wondering why I’m running into obstacles only to discover that I was focused on where I’d been instead of where I was going.

It’s easy to move on to our next experience in life when we are complete, settled and at peace with past events. When we allow past or recent events to plague us we can’t expect contentment. But how do we move through those events when we are stuck in “Why?” or even, “Why, God?”

Someone once suggested to me that there are no right answers to “Why?” questions. I know in my own life I have often discovered the “why” in time, perhaps years later, but often not in the present moment of the pain of wondering how an event could have occurred in the first place. Perhaps you have just released the past year, but find you are still holding onto a little bit of this or that.

The only way to let go of the past is to be willing to do so. Something else I learned from Dr. Arleen was that we “hold onto things until the pain of holding on is greater than the pain of letting go.” Determine today that the past is totally over and done with and it’s time to move forward into a brand new life. This means not just the life we begin every New Year, but the life that is consciously co-created with God every day and every second.

Yesterday ended last night. Celebrate the present and look forward to a future of wonderment and joy!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Huh?

My body decided I needed to rest two weeks ago and I was in bed with the flu for the good part of a day. Apparently I didn’t bother listening to my body because I spent another day this week in bed with bronchitis due to fatigue. With all I have to do this week for the holidays I was lying there thinking, “WTF?!?”

Now, before you start hyperventilating, you DO know what that means in the metaphysical world in which I live, don’t you? Actually, it has two meanings, neither of which you are probably thinking about right now.

Whenever we are faced with a challenge the first meaning can translate to, “What’s The Fear?” What fear-based thoughts or lack consciousness makes us think we have to buy into stinking thinking in our life? What fear has caused us to become unbalanced and seemingly unaware of the Divine Nature within?

The second, equally impactful meaning begs yet another question:  “Where’s The Faith?” If we truly believe we are one with the Universe and that the power of God is our power, then how do we get ourselves into sticky situations?

It’s not easy living in a state of being with everyone around you when the jerk coming toward you in the shopping center parking lot slips into the place for which you were waiting. Nor is it easy to experience physical problems. But here’s the good news about any problem, physical or otherwise.

While we’re in these human forms pain is a given. Without the warning system of pain we’d easily cut off our fingers or burn ourselves on the stove. Suffering, however, is optional, even though some of us at times seem to be making a career of it. We must learn from the pain to avoid it in the future. That means getting sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Whatever is bugging you about your life this week try considering one of the “WTF” meanings above and see how your attitude about the situation transforms. It may take some work. It may mean you have to change your attitude. But at least you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that you’re in control of your life and emotions.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Who Decides For You?

Have you ever thought about how many issues, events, problems – even wars! – are created for us by others? In the past week we’ve had Grey Thursday, Black Friday and Cyber Monday. The results of these made-up days of shopping will be analyzed, scrutinized and victimized as the news media, Wall Street and politicians decide the happiness and security of the next month – or perhaps the coming year! – based on how much we spent.

Seriously? Do you realize that there have been people who have lived virtually unscathed through the “Great Recession” we’re coming out of right now? While there were people committing suicide in 1929 many others made their fortunes in the Great Depression. How?

They practiced what many of us already know is possible:  Change your thinking – Change your life! We have choice. We are not mindless automatons. We are creatures of free will who are not bound by instincts. Unlike geese we can choose to fly south for the winter or we can choose to stay in the north and bundle up.

I grew up as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Members of that religion do not enlist in the military or fight in wars. A woman once angrily asked my mother what the world would be like if everyone was like that. I remember my mom smiling back at the woman without saying anything. Why? Because if everyone – literally everyone – refused to fight we’d have peace on earth.

There would be no people in Bangladesh dying in a factory fire while they were sewing clothes for Wal-Mart, Tommy Hilfiger and The Gap at twenty cents an hour. We’d have love in families. We’d have different religions and faiths and cultures enjoying diversity and richness. There would be no hunger, for we would care for one another. There would be no loneliness, because everyone would be loved.

Does world peace sound too good to be true? I still think that it’s good enough to be true, and we can have it now if as a species we decide to have it. We can choose to be bogged down in the strife of the world and the economic reports, or we can choose to live in a way that supports each other and the planet.

We are children of the Universe, abundantly supplied and magnificently blessed with the power to affect change in our lives, which in turns helps everyone around us. We have the power – you and I. Decide to use your power for good for yourself and others today. It beats having to turn on the news or get an alert on your smart phone to inform you how your life will turn out.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Happy Thanksgiving

Another holiday is upon us when society expects we will act a certain way and experience an approved of emotional response. In a world where everyone is a unique expression of God this expectation is a recipe for disappointment.

None of us experience events exactly the same way. That statement is a given for any of us sharing a Thanksgiving feast with family we’ve not seen in a while. What looks like a wonderful afternoon to us might be a chore to endure for others.

I sincerely hope that with whomever you spend today it is with those who love you as much as you love them. Even if you’re alone you might take time to enjoy the freedom of doing exactly what you want.

The most current unrest in the Middle East or the various news reports on TV can lead one to believe there is nothing about which to be thankful. That would be wrong. Whether you are alone, with a partner or with a large group, please take time to appreciate the good in your life. Be willing to have more of joy and love in the days and months to come.

We are living in one of the most exciting times in the history of humankind. Open to the blessings that are yours to enjoy and share. May you and your loved ones have a joyous and loving Thanksgiving weekend!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Are You Temporarily Unavailable?

I tried to sign into my Facebook account just now and received the response:

Account Temporarily Unavailable

Your account is currently unavailable due to a site issue.

We expect this to be resolved shortly. Please try again in a few minutes.

I thought to myself how very appropriate that my Facebook account is reflecting my mood. We know metaphysically that our outer experience reflects our innermost thoughts. After an incredibly high experience on Sunday I found myself on Monday feeling like I just didn’t want to climb the next mountain ahead.

Unpack the supplies. Send the Sherpas home. Crawl back in bed and don’t even pet the cats. Pathetic, yet true. This “account” was temporarily unavailable due to a personal site crash.

Part of acknowledging our mission in life as we work toward our vision is recognizing our need to rest and regenerate. We don’t expect to drive our car for weeks without putting gas in the tank. Well, my husband, Paul, does. He owns a Prius, but that’s not the point. We can so easily become caught up in projects, responsibility and life in general that we forget to eat (or eat junk because it’s quick), work late into the evening or refuse to step away from the computer to just relax.

My Facebook account is up and running again. I assume it’s because the Facebook technical staff scurried about tweaking what needed attention. Whatever they did it worked.

I’m up and running again as well. Fortunately, I have a team of specialists (my prayer partner, my ministerial mentor, my new massage trade partner and my chiropractor) who each found a component in my life that needed re-calibrating, replacing or repairing.

What’s out of synch in your psyche today? What’s the one thing you could change about your thinking that would make all the difference in the world in how you are viewing your life today? You’ll only find out if you stop the craziness and jealously take a few minutes or more for yourself. If that feels selfish understand this:  If you continue down a path of non-stop service or work for everyone else to your own determent you will soon not be any good to anyone, including yourself.

This “account” is now, once again, completely available.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

You Know, You Should...

I did something at church last Sunday that I rarely do. I told the members at Unity that they should do something. I don’t like to be “should” on so, therefore, I do my very best not to “should” on others.

Still, I told them they should be at the membership meeting this month. Membership means something to me and part of what it means is participation. It’s an important meeting so, yes, members should be there. This makes better sense: Granted, if everyone felt as passionate about membership to organizations as I feel, I wouldn’t have to mention it in the first place, but that’s another topic for later.

I bring up “shoulding” (again!) because perhaps you’ve noticed how some people will often compliment you on an accomplishment and then, without even taking a breath, proceed to tell you how you “should” have done it. I find that amazing, almost entertaining, most of the time and downright annoying the rest of the time.

One of the most difficult things to experience is criticism from others, even if those attacks are couched in a compliment. It is at these times that we must dodge and deflect. If we allow others to throw us off balance we can lose sight of our own vision and our goals.

What dodging and defecting unnecessary criticism can do is strengthen our resolve and shore up the core foundations of our beliefs. If we are not careful we can get caught up in the negative attacks. We often find such attacks are based on the person’s own insecurities or feelings of inadequacy.

In the midst of that, however, is the infuriating fact that regardless of the person’s intent (conscious or subconscious), the poor “shoulder” might just have an idea we ought to consider. Like I said, it’s somewhat infuriating. It’s a lot like your ex or your mother-in-law calling you on your stuff. You get the picture and it’s not pretty.

It is an issue of balance. If we can hear criticism constructively and objectively we will become more confident and often find some fine tuning of our actions that we can do to accelerate the progression toward our goals. After a while we’ll be able to hear the words, pick what we can use and cast away the rest. Now that’s power.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry