Apologies

Have you ever had someone apologize to you and then discover the next sentence out of their mouths is justification for their inappropriate actions? The cosmic giggle in that (or damn annoying outcome, whichever you feel at the time!) is that the person is long-gone before you realize they were not really sorry for what they did.

“Everything before ‘but’ is bullshit.” That’s something I learned from a beloved and respected professor of mine at Temple University. Think about it. If you are going to apologize to someone then those words, if they are to be sincere, cannot come with reasons why the action or words were deserved, can they?

It’s okay not to be sorry. You may feel righteously indignant about something someone did to you and are very angry about it. You may feel deeply hurt. And, yes, you may have even had a part in the altercation. It’s unhealthy, however, okay to hold onto those hurts for days, months or years.

I would suggest to you that if you cannot simply say, “I’m sorry” and let it go at that, then you are not truly sorry. If there is to be discussion or debate about the situation, let it be before any apologies ensue. Then, once everyone has been heard and understood, if a sincere apology can be given, let it. Otherwise, wait until you can.

Receiving a sincere apology also requires forgiveness on the part of the person wronged. I have been told that “they don’t deserve my forgiveness.” That may be true. But here’s the kicker: YOU deserve your forgiveness. Every time we hold onto anger, hatred or hurt because of what he, she or they did to us intensifies the cosmic bond between us and that other party.

Think of something about which you feel guilty, in particular something that you have been beating yourself up about. Now…take a deep breath and let yourself off the hook. Forgive yourself. Allow your breath to cleanse your mind, body, heart and soul of all the nastiness you’ve been holding inside. Allow it to flow out of your body like used, gunky oil flows out of the car. Fill yourself with love through knowing that however you acted, you did the very best you could at that time.

When you feel complete and know how well that feels, think about whom you may have harmed or hurt, knowingly or unknowingly and offer an apology to them. No “ifs”, “ands” OR “buts”.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Staying Connected

“I’m SURE your Droid has an app for that!” That’s something my husband, Paul, often says to me in a snide, somewhat BBC English accent. I take his disdain for smart phone as painfully obvious jealousy – he won’t even get a cell phone!

Still, he’s right. (OMG – Did I just say that?!?) I do have an app for just about everything I “need.” This, of course, begs the question, Exactly why do I need it? With four growing businesses, a full-time job, a large volunteer commitment with a local non-profit and two aging parents on opposites side of the country (one of whom is in hospice care), and the fact that I travel extensively, my Droid has become an indispensable tool for keeping in touch, scheduling and planning.

Recently, however, I laughed out loud at myself for taking several minutes to access a computer program to find out the weather when I realized walking outside might have sufficed! Last week I heard on NPR that a study indicated the maximum number of meaningful relationships we can have is 50. How many “friends” to you have on Facebook? Keeping in touch is wonderful, but is there a limit to how much information we can assimilate?

Apparently, yes. While the connection we have with the world is amazing, our minds are not developed to the extent that is necessary to absorb 24/7 news about every country in every corner of the world. Mastin Kipp, founder of The Daily Love, wrote this yesterday:

[W]e know the SECOND something happens anywhere in the world. And we give these events our attention. And almost as soon as one event seems to be over, another happens and another and another and another, until pretty soon it seems like the world is going mad. … it’s not the world that’s going mad; it’s just that we have become more aware of what’s happening around us. We are more aware and therefore, more overwhelmed.

I’ve been wanting to blog about this for some time, knowing only too well just how difficult it is to deal with information overload. Mastin put it perfectly. The joy is we have the tools to deal with this issue – and it’s not another app for your smart phone.

If the Science of Mind teaches us anything it teaches us that we have choice. We can choose to turn off our phones, our computers, even (gasp!) our TVs and DVRs! I lived for five years at one point in my life without a TV. It was amazing how much I got done! For me this means prioritizing. I need to be available, but not for the whole world. I need to be available for my family, for my friends – the real friends – not the endless sea of faces online. I mean really…how many people on Facebook have you friended that you don’t even like, but can’t stand not knowing what they’re doing? Oh…was that my “out loud” voice again? Hmmmm…

Take time every day to “un-plug” from the electronics and endless chatter of the Internet. Use that time to TALK (not TEXT) the ones you love, to go within and calm your mind, to do something physically that is meaningful. Giggle, not Laugh, not ROTFLMAO. Even better, trying writing a real letter on paper (you remember paper, right?) and send it in an envelope with a stamp. I can guarantee that will bring a smile to the face of the recipient…and you!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Realizing Our Dreams

I have written about spiritual mind treatment, also called affirming prayer, in many of my blogs. The final step in this type of prayer is “release.” We release our desire into the Universe to allow our words to become concrete realities in our world. Then what?

Sitting around, waiting for the Universe to drop our desire on our doorstep or in our laps, beautifully wrapped up with a gold bow is probably not the best course of action. Conversely, running around, manically doing everything we can to force our desire into manifestation is equally counterproductive to an acceptable conclusion.

“Daily OM”, a daily, spiritual email to which I subscribe (http://www.dailyom.com/) recently stated, “To realize our goals and visions we must be as industrious as we are optimistic.” This statement is a perfect complement to affirming prayer. The late Dr. Vetura Papke, religious science practitioner to Science of Mind founder, Dr. Ernest S. Holmes, used to say, “Treat and move your feet.” It is really the same admonition, but Vetura had something even more important in mind.

“Moving our feet” has another application than doing the physical, spiritual and emotional work we must do to make room for our hopes, desires, goals and dreams to become reality. Part of “moving our feet” is moving out of God’s way! We must avoid outlining to the Universe exactly when, how and what needs to happen to have our prayers answered, and by whom that answer must come. The Universe often seems to have a more simplistic and beautiful way of supplying our needs than what our human minds contrive.

Perhaps one of the most annoying parts of any answered prayer is having it answered by someone who we do not particularly like. Most annoying. I mean really annoying. (Guess you can tell I have been there!) When we are faced with this situation the dilemma to which we are confounded is: Do we ignore the answer because of our ego? Or, do we humbly accept the good no matter where it comes from or how it happens?

By nurturing our dreams into goals and then allowing that desire to take on a life of its own, we shall be able to enjoy the evolution of our manifestation. We shall see all that we desire and enjoy the benefits of knowing that with God all things are possible. Remember the words of Peter J. Meyer:

Whatever you vividly imagine,

ardently desire,

sincerely believe,

and enthusiastically act upon...

must inevitably come to pass!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry