Shedding

I would stop writing about our cats every week, but they are just such darn good teachers! The issue this week seems to be shedding. The lint roller is working overtime because it’s not a good idea to leave our house without attending to the cat hair.

It’s just that time of year. If you have pets you probably deal with shedding. It’s another sign of spring but neither fragrant as the hyacinths nor as beautiful as the crocuses. The cats’ winter coats are no longer useful or needed, so their bodies are relieving them of the additional layer of fur.

How easy is that? They no longer need the additional weight and just let it go. How would it be if our burdens were released as easily and without a second thought? Our ego minds might immediately jump to the defense of keeping drama and difficulty in our lives by telling us that our issues are far more complicated than a natural process like shedding. But are they?

That argument begs the discussion of just how complicated we want our lives to be. Ernest Holmes said that our problems are as real as we need them to be. We can ask ourselves: How hard do I want life to be? How much do I want to struggle with issues? What hoops do I insist on jumping through when it is not required?

The questions I like to pose to myself when I feel I must do something are: What would happen if I didn’t do it? Would the world stop? Would my family despise me? Would I even remember the drama five years from now?

I’m posing a lot of questions this week for which I offer no answers. Each of us must individually decide what battles we will fight and which ones we choose to walk away from. Life offers challenges. How much struggle we experience is up to us.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Human Rights

I am writing my blog this week from New York City, where I am one of five adults acting as chaperons for 37 youth from Carlisle High School. We are here at the New York Hilton and United Nations for the National High School Model United Nations conference. Just us and over 3,000 teenagers from all over the world!

I’ve been told that some of the resolutions passed here at the mock U.N. over the years have been sent on to the actual United Nations – and that some of the ideas have been adopted. Our keynote speaker last night for the Opening Session was Shula Koenig, founder of the People’s Movement for Human Rights Learning (PDHRE) and a recipient of the 2003 United Nations Prize in the Field of Human Rights, an award given to five people every five years since 1966. Often when we speak of “human rights” we package the discussion as a political, economic, social or cultural issue.

Ms. Koenig says it is none of those. Human rights are human rights – period. As a culture we enact laws, policies and regulations to protect those rights, but the rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that we claim to hold so dear in our country should not be up for debate or discussion.

Few of us are in a position to impact a large number of people as is Ms. Koenig. She has spoken to people of all socioeconomic levels in more than 60 countries. She is 82 years old and I describe her as a saucy, German grandmother who shoots from the hip. Her clarity and passion for equality are intoxicating.

Just because we may not regularly speak to large groups of people doesn’t mean we are powerless to affect change. Every day we each come into contact with situations in which the rights of people around us are being violated. We can offer small gestures that have a great impact on those people whose hopes, dreams and goals are suppressed.

We can help to educate those individuals who appear to be victims by assisting them to see other options for life. Our teachings about thinking positively and relying on Universal support can go a long way if we are walking the walk ourselves, not just talking the talk. We don’t need to laugh at jokes that are “funny” at the expense of others due to race, color, sexual or gender orientation, or those physically or mentally challenged – and we certainly don’t have to forward them to our friends and family!

Open a door for a stranger. Offer to help someone elderly get an item off a high shelf at the grocery store. Approach a homeless person, instead of averting your eyes, and offer to buy them a meal. Lead by example. There will be no fanfare, ticker tape parade or award ceremony. There will, however, be a shift in consciousness, one person at a time, to support everyone around you to be more loving, more forgiving and more understanding of our human conditions.

Having rights as human beings is not an option. Doing something about supporting the rights of others instead of complaining about inequality is a choice. Choosing to support others requires courage, consistency and determination. I know you are up to the task. Now – go change the world…one person at a time!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Relentless Positive Action

Just a few weeks ago I heard the term “relentless positive action.” Positive action I get. I have been practicing living a more forward moving, positively enforced life for over two decades. I teach this to my congregations and clients. But “relentless?”

At the risk of making this another “cat blog” I must use our oldest cat, Dillon, as our model of Principle in Action this week. Dillon loves to drape himself over you and then fall fast asleep. He’s not particular about whether it’s your thigh while you are sitting watching TV, over your head and shoulders while perched above you on a high backed chair, or on your arm as you are trying to use your computer mouse.

He just needs to be near us. It really doesn’t matter what our agenda is. Having food on your lap, reading a book or making notes for a future talk is of no consequence. He intends to occupy the space he desires. Your sandwich, your book or your notepad are not simply irrelevant; they don’t even fit into the equation. His sweet face and sad eyes will get you every time if you attempt to push him away.

He is relentless, positive action in motion. The needs or desires of other creatures don’t register on his radar. He is being driven by instincts that compel him to fulfill his immediate need regardless of the consequences. As human beings we don’t have that luxury if we are to operate harmoniously in society.

Those who are not relentless in their pursuit of happiness and fulfillment in life are stopped by the smallest inconvenience. What’s keeping me from the gym today? Who’s stopping me from taking more candy off the grocery list? Which project needs so much attention that I can’t find fifteen minutes to do my yoga routine? If we need an excuse to get off course, we’ll find one.

So how do we move forward, relentless in our pursuit of our vision in a positive manner without bulldozing over everything and everyone in our way? Balance and intention hold the key. Spirit doesn’t fulfill our desires at the expense of people around us. We also need to make sure that the company we keep is supportive of our hopes, dreams, goals and vision.

Relentless positive action also means we re-evaluate our course frequently, making the corrections necessary to achieve our goals. We learn to compromise in the process, yet hold fast to our integrity and moral values that make us who we are. We strive to align ourselves with like-minded people who support our life journey and have a vision that we can similarly support. This week strive to be relentless in the positive forward motion of your life vision and goals!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

A Good Scratch

After dinner the other night one of our four cats, Squeekers, was finally given the attention he so consistently demanded throughout the meal. Leaping up onto a convenient lap he enjoyed getting his nose scratched. He closed his eyes (I swear he was smiling) and to all appearances seemed to have completely tuned out the world around him.

When was the last time you felt that content, that satisfied and that fulfilled? Hopefully you can recount numerous occasions in the past week, but sadly many of us cannot. We can get so caught up in the “busy-ness” of life that we forget to enjoy those brief yet ultimately satisfying moments.

It is far too easy to complain about all the time we do not have. Thanks to 24-hour news channels and smart phones we are subjected to information overload. We are not victims of technology; we choose to be willing volunteers for this electronic abuse. Have you considered taking a break from it?

Leaving on a two-week vacation may not be possible for you this week or even in the foreseeable future. But taking a bit of time, even a minute, just for yourself is most definitely something you can do. The next time you make yourself a cup of coffee or tea take a minute (just 60 seconds), sit down and enjoy the aroma and warmth. Lie down on the couch and have a five-minute nap. This seemingly insignificant amount of time can do wonders to rejuvenate you.

I threw caution to the wind last week and treated myself to a soothing bath by candlelight. I even closed the door to the bathroom! I neglected, however, to see one of the cats, Lucy, between the shower curtains on the tub ledge before easing into the hot, soapy water. Knowing that God is always in charge, I found the purring was a wonderful addition to my meditation.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

The Prism of Your Soul

Human beings are multi-faceted creatures. To make situations easier we frequently place each other into convenient categories. All too often these labels fall far short of describing who we are as individuals.

Psychologist Dr. Dan Gottlieb reported working with a young woman who told him: “I feel like my soul is a prism, but everybody just sees one color. Nobody sees the prism.”

What would it be like if we could actually see the prism of the soul of other people around us? How would our lives be different if we allowed those we love to see all spectrums of who we are?

Think about meeting someone for the first time. Do we ask what their hopes and dreams are for the future? Do we inquire about their deepest fears or greatest joys? No. Usually we want to know if they are married or single; gay or straight; what political party they support; where they went to school; what they do for a living; what kind of car they drive; and, what socioeconomic status they have achieved.

Then, armed with the information, we use a mental check list to arrive at our decision about how to label the poor sod. Judgment, prejudice and bias are often attached to labels. We see only one color, not the full spectrum of visible light or the thousands of shades and tints of their brilliance.

The prism of our soul is all the colors or nuances of our personality that make up who we are. Add to that all the bands of light invisible to the naked eye, both above and below our spectrum of recognition. These unseen energies represent the subconscious or subjective aspects of our personalities; some perhaps not even known to us let alone anyone else.

Be willing to take a step or two back this week from your preconceived ideas about the people in your life. What positive qualities do they possess that you may have overlooked? Then, open up to others fully and confidently in being all you can be by showing a willingness to share your hidden colors with them as well.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

That's NOT What I Said!

Something that has angered me in the past was having my words twisted by someone else. It’s even worse when those words become a rumor that gets everyone’s panties in a bunch for no good reason. Not so long ago a situation like that would have brought up feelings of frustration due to a need to defend myself about something I didn’t do in the first place.

This kind of a situation has happened recently to me, but then you might have already guessed that from the title of this blog. Instead of allowing the circumstances to involve me in the drama I have remembered two helpful ways of moving through this kind of annoyance.

The first is a quote from a dear friend of mine. When this sort of thing happens to her she tells people the following: “I neither defend, justify, nor explain my actions. I let the results speak for themselves.”

This is the perfect response to give to someone who twists the facts to suit his or her own agenda at the expense of someone else’s reputation. That kind of attack usually develops out of fear, insecurity and vindictiveness. If we are quick to defend our integrity it only feeds the fire of disinformation and criticism.

The second thing I remembered was what a blessing it is to have someone who is that vehemently opposed to me personally! My ministry has the potential of increasing exponentially in the near future. If that opportunity is afforded me and if I choose to accept it, the change to my life would be significant. To say I don’t have some very human emotions about this prospect would be erroneous. I just didn’t know my reservations were so pronounced that it would show up in someone else so spectacularly!

Our lives are the direct reflection of our consciousness. If we are experiencing resistance outside ourselves to anything we are about to undertake then that conflict must be at least partially due to our subjective or subconscious concerns. Believing this, I’ve spent the past month digging deeply to understand why this person has chosen to stir up all sorts of unnecessary nonsense in my life and in that of so many other people.

Fortunately, I’ve come to some fascinating conclusions – the most impactful being that this is far less about me and very much about the other person’s issues. It has taught me, once again, to speak with clarity, act in integrity and allow Divine Right Action to unfold without attachment to the outcome. Like a thunderstorm, this too shall pass. The great thing is, I know that above the clouds the sun is shining brightly. In the meantime, the sound of rain has always been a comfort to me.

I am Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I grew up, like a lot of my friends, not really feeling at all like I belonged where I was. My trailer park roots are not something of which I am ashamed, but mother always said that I must have been mixed up at St. Francis Hospital in Dayton, OH, with a missing baby from the Rockefeller family. My champagne tastes on a beer budget have gotten me in a financial pickle more than once.

But that’s not exactly what I am talking about. Sometimes when we don’t feel like we fit in it’s because we really don’t fit in. That’s not to say we are better than those around us, but we may very well be different. It’s as if we are trying to park diagonally when everyone else is parking parallel. We tend to stand out.

While our school systems would like us to believe that we are educating free-thinkers, the teachers who allow students to think outside the box are few and far between. Today many educators are more concerned with test scores and measurements than they are with teaching our young people how to reason or think creatively. When a child does not conform to the norms of the school or society she or he can be set apart as undesirable.

We must each decide how much we wish to fit in without jeopardizing our individuality. At the same time we can be more loving in how much latitude we give to those around us in how they choose to express their individuality. Just because we are different than those around us, or around those who are just different from us, doesn’t mean we or they are wrong. Neither should it require anything more than a change of outlook. It means each of us is uniquely qualified to express life in a way that no one else can. That is something to be celebrated, not repressed.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry