Happy New Year!

The last day of 2011! The CSLCV community began our release of this year earlier this week at our Recharge on Wednesday service. One of the points I made was something I learned from another CSL minister many years ago.

"Release" of the old is not just about all the things in our lives during the past year that we judged as "bad." Rather, true release of the past is release of ALL of the past - that which we judged as "good" as well as that which we judged otherwise.

Fond memories of the past can stop us from having a satisfying present and future just as much as the memories we have of pain and suffering IF we allow those memories to set an unachievable standard. This weekend we will have two opportunities as a group to release the past and embrace the future.

First, this evening, Saturday, December 31, at 7:00pm is the Traditional Unity New Year's Eve Burning Bowl Service at Unity of Harrisburg. Then on Sunday, January 1, 2012, at 10:00am we will meet again at Unity for our first Sunday service of 2012.

My talk is Looking Ahead - 2012 is Here! This service will be the kick-off for our journey into the basic principles of Science of Mind over the next four weeks. I am offering this basic New Thought series to help the Unity congregation align with the principles upon which their church was founded, which will provide a firm foundation as they seek their next pastor.

I was delighted last Sunday to announce that the board of trustees at Unity has asked me to stay on another month as the guest speaker on Sundays, which I accepted! I am already planning those service with our music director, Kate McCutchan, to continue our efforts in producing a flowing service of love, support, laughter and empowerment each and every Sunday.

Yes, there is much to release from 2011, including fond memories to savor and in which to delight. Some would have us believe that 2012 will be scary and unsure (if you choose to believe the media!), but for those of us grounded in Principle it provides a clean slate for a future filled with joy, peace and wonderment. Which, not so coincidentally, is the same opportunity we are given by Spirit each and every second of each and every day.

From my family and me to you and yours, Happy New Year!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Using Our Voice

I am often asked by my husband, “You know that was your out loud voice, right?” I have tried to learn over the years to put my brain into gear before putting my mouth into motion, but every so often I just get the order confused.

Using our out loud voice for our inside thoughts happens when we tell the truth without a filter or at least our truth at that time. What would it be like if we all told the truth consistently? Children and very old persons are the best examples of simply “telling it like it is.” Both groups often speak with no filter, ignoring social norms and acceptable behavior. The truth of their sayings can be jarring, but the essence is pure.

Common courtesy and decorum are two reasons most cited as to why we do not speak our minds. A more honest reason would be that we do not want to deal with the consequences of telling the truth. It is easy to soft pedal the answer, skirt around the issue, or refuse to commit one way or the other.

Speaking our mind and making a decision is the only way to move forward in life. The Rev. Dr. Raymond Charles Barker once wrote about people “who do not know what to do or do not know what they want.” His opinion was that what they were really saying is that they “are too lazy to determine [their] own experience or think another person is better equipped to determine [their] good.” Dr. Barker used his out loud voice a lot.

Using our voice for making a decision and telling the truth is a way for us to free ourselves from the shackles of indecision and frustration. If there is an ongoing issue in your life, take some time to decide what you want to do about it. If you do not know what to do, remember the words of Dr. Barker and give me a call to talk…

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

"No" Is a Complete Sentence

I have very few friends or acquaintances that are not over-scheduled or stressed-out because of the demands they have put on themselves. Like attracts like, so I too fall into that category more often than I would care to admit.

Please note that I did not blame this on the demands placed on us by others, but rather those that we place on ourselves. We have only ourselves to credit with being too busy, even if it was at the insistence of someone else that we do something. Why? Because we said “yes.”

We frequently say “yes” because we cannot think of a convenient, believable or acceptable reason why we should say “no.” How about “I do not want to do that” for starters?

“No” is a complete sentence. I am usually amused, sometimes annoyed, by people who respond negatively to a request I have made, only to follow their answer with a litany of reasons or excuses why they cannot comply. Personally, I do not need your reasons or your excuses. I hope you are unable to fulfill my request because you have something even more wonderful and exciting to do. Good for you!

If you do not want to do something someone else asks of you, please say “no.” Not, “No, because…” Acting out of obligation instead of willingness does not encourage clarity; neither does making excuses that sound like our own personal pity party. When we agree to do anything we do not want to do we muddy the energy around us. Instead of enjoying the task, we experience an underlying, nagging feeling of resentment. Why not respectfully decline and allow someone else who wants to fulfill the request be given the opportunity to serve?

Just for part of today, think carefully before you answer “yes” to something you do not want to do. Weigh the outcome, take a deep breath, and then answer from your heart. If you can say “no” without anger, resentment or attitude you will find a freedom you have not experienced up until now.

In Spirit, Joy and Playfulness,

Terry

Does It Really Make a Difference?

I do my best to be engaged and concerned when someone is relating a story to me. Really I do! But there are times, and I know you’ve been there, when I just look at the person and say, “And, you’re telling me this because…?”

Sometimes we just need to vent. I get that. My friend, Nancy, and I used to have an agreement that I could call to bitch about anything I wanted for exactly five minutes. No more. She would cut me off at five minutes, done or not. Well, I might not have thought I was done, but Nancy was and that was that.

At some point it behooves us to take a deep breath and say, “Does it really make a difference?” We may be terribly upset about the way someone has treated us. Or perhaps someone has walked away from a commitment she or he has made to us or to our organization. It’s done. It’s over. We can pick up the pieces and get on with our life, or we can whine, scream and moan. Why would we choose the latter?

You see, the simple truth is that some people bless us by coming into our lives and some people bless us by leaving. This works personally, professionally and in our communities or organizations. Ever notice how some people can leave a group or relationship with dignity, class and mutual respect, while other people have to make everyone wrong, create havoc and basically re-define what it means to be a raging drama queen?

We don’t have to be the latter. We also don’t have to be affected by someone who does. Know that in the universal scheme of things, all is progressing exactly as it should. It may not look pretty at the moment, but when the dust settles the right people will be involved and the perfect outcome will be assured. By feeding the drama with our crazed upset we are only continuing to strengthen the psychic bond we wish to severe.

Take time this week to let go of the drama of change and embrace the flow of peace in your life. The people that leave us are making room for the people who want to be with us. And so it is!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

It's Warm

We like to be comfortable. We also expect to dictate how we want to have our comfort. We become annoyed when our comfort is compromised. Many an American has been appalled at what other countries (even European nations) consider a 3-star hotel. Americans, at least a good number of us, aren’t real good about sharing a small bathroom down the hall with strangers.

My Grandma Esther had a number of sayings that I look upon as sage wisdom. Before she became a Christian she had a mouth on her that could make a sailor blush. Even after her conversion she was known to “let loose” on occasions that particularly got her goat.

I remember a time when she said she felt like she was up to her neck in horse manure, though Grandma had a more colorful way of describing said item, which I choose to leave out of this blog – though I’m sure you get the picture. She said that “after a while you get used to the smell and at least it’s warm.”

(I do hope you’re not eating...) Grandma was a loving, giving individual, but she was also satisfied with putting up with situations in her life, which often became the topic of her woes and allowed her to wear the mantle of a “good Christian martyr.”

When the initial reaction to this rather gross analogy wears off you may see the wisdom in her thoughts. You may not be in a situation you find pleasant, but the truth is you may find it comfortable because it’s familiar. Maybe it’s a job or a relationship. It’s not ideal, it might even be abusive in some way, but it’s what you know. Change can be scary at times. Sometimes we can be so afraid of what will await us on the other side of change that we stay stuck in the crap (pun intended) we are in.

Like whipped cream on garbage (looks pretty on the outside until the whipped cream starts to sour), it’s still not a pleasant situation and probably not anything we would want for another person. Yet we put up with some of these distasteful situations in our own lives.

There are other ways to be comfortable. Being surrounded with nurturing companions is one way. Working in a job or career we love is another way. We might decide real comfort is relaxing in a warm bubble bath or Jacuzzi. In our lives we can choose the tubs we wish to enter and fill them with what we determine will warm us. When given the option, which we are, I’m leaning toward a more bubble bath-type experience for my life than what Grandma Esther described. What about you?

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Gentle Persuasion

Many years ago I was part of a sales team. Management wanted us to approach our customers with a lighter method than our competitors. What was being used more commonly at the time was a very aggressive, “in-your-face” technique that amounted to bullying customers into buying. Our company came up with a conversational technique called “gentle persuasion.”

It has been a long time since I worked for that company. Perhaps the reason I remembered it was because I was thinking about how political candidates and special interest groups attempt to influence us. Advertising becomes more aggressive as we near the election. Thinking about these two approaches gave me cause for pause in how I approach people with whom I differ.

When we disagree on topics some of us feel compelled to defend our position aggressively. Some people might justify their approach on the admonition of the apostle Peter (1 Peter 3:15). Unfortunately, the intent of that counsel has been bent over the years. Peter said to be “ready to make a defense” for the “reason for the hope (or faith) in you”. That passage has been used as a basis for justifying hard line proselytizing many times.

But there’s more to the scripture and it includes how to make that defense. The rest of the scripture says to do so “with a mild temper (or gently) and deep respect.” We often miss that subtle nuance when defending our position. If we must live our lives on the defense it requires us to fight for what we want. Being on the offense can be just as damaging to our spirit. With that ideology we can end up spending our time scheming to take what we want.

There is another way to live life and state our position to others. It requires a decision on our part and it is not one that is easy for some people. Like all the principles of the Science of Mind, this principle is a simple one, yet simple is not synonymous with easy. The decision we must make is to acknowledge that as convincing as our arguments might be it is entirely possible we will be unsuccessful in convincing others to take up our position.

That’s hard for many. It requires us to believe that regardless of what we see before us or no matter how much potential we recognize in the life of our friend or partner, we must allow others to believe and live their lives as they see fit. It is easier to do this when we come to the table with a sincere desire to understand, instead of gearing up for a fight or a conquest.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

The Magic Pill

Our country is obsessed with the “quick fix.” From a pill to make it all better and fast food to satisfy our hunger, we Americans love to have it now.

The challenges of life are seldom solved with the immediacy we might desire. It takes time to overcome and heal our issues. Faith in God, the Universe or a master teacher can help with finding solutions, but what happens when the object of our faith is reduced to being nothing more than a “magic pill?”

I thought about this last Sunday morning while listening to a sermon on the radio. The evangelist was preaching about having faith in Jesus to reach the reward of heaven. But little if anything was said about enjoying life to the fullest while still here on earth. Any pleasure, any satisfaction, any fulfillment was delayed until being united with the Lord. Everything that happened was up to Jesus. It was as if we had no say whatsoever in the outcome.

Jesus never taught us to sit back and wait. He was a man of action. When he prayed he expected results, as should we! The evangelist I listened to was quick to blame the Devil for everything that we judge as bad, or that if things didn’t turn out to our liking then it was not God’s will for us to have whatever it is we desired. Feeling like we have no control over our situation makes it easy to ignore the present “hoping” for a better future. We fail to appreciate the gift of the present.

If a woman is in her third abusive relationship it isn’t the Devil’s fault and God certainly didn’t create the situation for her pain. That’s like blaming Mother Nature for us being wet if we choose to venture outside in the rain without an umbrella. A little common sense goes a long way to right the wrongs in our life, but this requires that we change our attitudes and actions. In the case of the abusive relationship, there is something familiar about repeating the mistake. Familiarity means “I know how to do this because I’ve done it before,” so we tend to repeat the mistakes of our past expecting different results. It doesn’t work.

Blaming of others and relying on the mood of a divine power is not what Jesus taught. It is, however, a great way to live life as a victim. By taking responsibility for our actions, and taking action that is in accord with the greatest good for all concerned, we move forward in faith so that our desires are made manifest.

It is through our faith, in whatever we believe, that we are empowered to affect change in our lives. Though we cannot change someone else, we can change our attitude about the situation. By doing so, we will not fall into the trap of searching for a magic pill while life passes us by.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry