Will You Be My Valentine?

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Thanks to mass marketing wanting us to believe everyone should be in a fairy tale relationship, February 14 can mean expectations from those in relationships and gloom for singles.

Someone told me that Valentine’s Day doesn’t matter because “it is just a made-up holiday” and, therefore, we really don’t need to celebrate it since it’s really about retail sales of chocolate and flowers. A word to the wise? If you feel this way and haven’t expressed it to your beloved you might want to broach the subject before tomorrow, least s/he have expectations to which you  might otherwise fail to meet. Not that we’re here to make each other happy – that’s an inside job! – but avoided a fight would be preferable , in my humble opinion.

Valentine’s Day, made up, commercial or otherwise, is a fact that seems here to stay. We can choose to celebrate it, ignore it, or allow it to ruin our day, week or month. “It” doesn’t do anything to us. As with everything else in life, we have a choice whether to affect our experience through empowered thinking or be at the effect of the situation.

If we are single this is not the time to run out and find the flavor of the month date to try to mold some poor sod into the romantic valentine about which we dream. If our committed relationship is not where we want it to be, then take action now to clarify the union.  Celebrating a love holiday as if all is wonderful when the partners are not happy is like whipped cream on top of garbage. The outer appearance looks fine for a day, but once the glare of reality and heat of conflict returns the whipped cream sours and melts into the strife we had before February 14.

All of our relationships are sacred, though we often fail to treat them that way. Communication is the most important factor in any relationship because everything else follows in line after concise and clear communication. “He should know what I’m thinking” is ridiculous. Half the time we don’t seem to know what we want ourselves. How the heck are others supposed to figure it out!

Resolve to have the happiest Valentine’s Day ever. It might be with the one you love more than anyone. It might be with the family unit you’ve come to call your own. It might be with the relationship you have with yourself, Nature or your Higher Power. Whatever it is for you, rejoice in it, love it and commit to that kind of deep and enduring integrity all year long.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Marines Don't Do That

Recently Michael Wheeler wrote an article entitled “Marines Don’t Do That:  Mastering the Split-Second Decision. In it he quoted Major David Dixon, who recently retired from the US Marine Corps. According to Major Dixon, Marines are taught the concept of “Marines don’t do that” during their training.

It got me to thinking about how I react in life and what I “don’t do.” I’m usually the one who speaks up and makes at least a few people uncomfortable if someone is telling an inappropriate joke or being discriminatory. I simply have no tolerance for it. I used to. I used to be afraid to speak up for fear someone might start attacking me, or making fun of me for not “being one of the boys.”

I suppose becoming comfortable with my sexual orientation as well as my belief in the teachings of the Science of Mind – both of which are still not universally accepted – has positioned me to speak out. It comes from a foundation of confidence and security, not from one of reaction, indignation or anger. Admittedly, I still feel some of those things when I witness gross injustices, but I’m not out to prove anything to anyone.

What guides your life course and your interactions with others on a daily basis? Do you allow discrimination or injustices to go on in front of you? How we deal with what we consider inappropriate behavior here in America is vastly different than in other countries, including our neighbors directly north of us. But regardless of local customs, how will you act (not react) in an unfair situation the next time it happens?

It might not be a situation of sticking up for someone else. It might be having the opportunity to disregard our own personal ethics, for example tossing our cigarette out the window, accepting more change than is due us, or ignoring someone who is differently-abled than we.

If you are truly the religious scientist you say you are, or the Christian, or the Muslim or the Buddhist, or whatever other teachings guide your life, will you stand up for righteous and fair treatment of others? Or, will you remain silent while those less able to speak up are put down, embarrassed, ill-treated or even injured? Will you practice what you preach to preserve our planet, or will you make excuses because you are too busy to go the extra mile?

Those aren’t easy questions to hear or perhaps easy ones to contemplate. I would, however, suggest to you that they are ones we should all entertain. When faced with the hard questions of life no person of integrity turns a blind eye to the situation. We just don’t do that.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Greek Yogurt

One of my favorite people to fly with at my "day job" is an Austrian-born, naturalized U.S. citizen. You'd never think he was anything but American, at least until you get into a conversation with him. As Americanized as he is, his European roots are pretty close to the surface and a lot of his opinions are, well, very European.

Perhaps that's why I enjoy his company. I live with someone who is more American than apple pie and defends even the most outrageous customs and life choices here in this country. I don't. I grew up in an American trailer park - four all together, thank you very much - but my sensibilities definitely lean toward a less independent and more interdependent lifestyle, i.e. European in nature.

That's why I was so taken back with a comment my Austrian-born friend made not long ago that put me in a the class of a "typical American." I'm far from "typical" in my opinion, but that's another topic not to be discussed at his time. I happen to mention to my friend that I had brought along some "Greek yogurt" with me on our trip. He launched into a tirade about how gullible Americans are. "Oh, it's the next big thing and it's no different than any other yogurt, but the advertisers say it's better so you Americans have to run out and buy it. Europeans would never be misled that way."

Wow...and I only bought it because it was on sale! Okay, not completely, I mean I think it IS creamer, but I digress. It got me to thinking. We Americans pride ourselves on our independence and independent thinking, but we ARE lulled (not so subtly) into buying things just because it's the next "thing" to have. Contrast that with the interdependence that Europeans experience with each other, perhaps because of the close proximity of so many different countries, yet they don't seem to be as easily swayed. How can that be?

They might not, actually. I'm sure that you could be reading this thinking just the opposite is true about Europeans and Americans, and have all kinds of evidence to prove your point. It really doesn't matter. What I got out of this discussion - and the subsequent pondering I've been doing on the subject over the past few weeks - is that we aren't going to please everybody no matter what we decide!

Just because a product or way of doing something is supposedly the thing to have or do doesn't make it right for us. Madisyn Taylor recently wrote about "going against what it popular." She goes on to say, "...part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don't take the time to determine what's right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren't what we call conscious decisions."

I'd like to suggest a game for you to play this week. Just for the fun of it, question everything you do for a day. I don't mean you have to stop and analyze everything so you don't get anything done. Just take a breath and ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing. Do you really want to do it? Why are you buying a particular product? If you discover that you are at a loss to explain your motivation then perhaps you are being manipulated by societal pressure, someone special in your life, a lack of self-esteem or self-confidence, or just a victim to marketing.

In other words, take back your life, because I can assure you of this: You are doing something in your life, buying something on a regular basis (or lusting after it), or acting in a particular way that just doesn't feel right, yet you continue to do it. Really, you say? Great - you are the person to whom I'm speaking in particular. Take the challenge and then write me to tell me why I'm wrong. Wanna play?

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

P.S. Happy New Year! May 2014 bring you all the joy, love, laughter and prosperity you can accept!