Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Telling the Truth

Do you always tell the truth? Careful. There is an “always” in that question. The truth is, few of us, if any, hardly ever do anything all the time. Always and never can be words we frequently use, but do not actually mean.

When we break our always or never promises, we can usually justify the reason. We humans have a remarkable way of justifying our actions. Justification, however, does not mean it’s right.

I recently took a winter’s eve walk through a town square with a new friend in my life. Our friendship is rapidly growing into something deeper, and with that deepening come fears and assumptions from past relationships in our lives. I wanted to discuss something, but decided not to since it was not clear in my own mind. If I open my mouth before the issue solidifies I have found it can cause more harm than good. Fortunately, my friend has an intuitive ability and gently drew out my questions and fears. In the process we were able to lay out a number of issues on a table that we’d not set for this discussion.

How were we able to do that? Truth. When one questioned the other on something, the answer was truthful and quick, without regard for the consequences. When one tells a “white” lie it is usually to save the feelings of another person, or because the liar is afraid of the outcome if s/he tells the truth. What a beautiful situation it becomes, however, if two or more people can create an atmosphere of safety, so that all can be revealed.
Once the truth is established and examined from all sides, we can then move on to making further decisions about the future. By doing so, the future is built on a firm foundation of trust and integrity, not the shifting sands of indecision and deceit.

5 comments:

freethoughts said...

Hi there Terry,

I had to comment on your last post because It moved me, I have a wonderfull marriage, my husband and I have no secrets, we are truthful and understanding,we respect eachother; there is also a very strong sense of trust that all creates stregth. I want to congratulate you for having this friendship, I can tell you from my own experience how very rewrding and valuable that single aspect of it can be. By way of example, a friend who has never experienced this sort of relationship finds it hard to believe and tries to prove me wrong, she has known my husband much longer than I. So she "dug up" some facts that might be disagreable to some or most men would not have mentioned to their wifes. She presented me with this and I was very happy to see that not one thing she mentioned was news to me, moreover, I was happy that my husband had confided on me because of our friendship and not becuase I required it of him. Thus not only was I in posession of the facts, but also of his views, motives and feelings about it, a unique perspective from which I can fully understand him. That to me is priceless. congratulations again and thanks for sharing this with us. Dharma
PS. You can visit my blog at http://wethinkfree@blogspot.com if you want to see some love poems.

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