I Can't Wait For Monday!

How many times do we hear THAT?!? Not often. It seems the majority of the people around us, or perhaps we ourselves, are not happy with what we do for a living. Are you?

It is possible to expand the “love month” scope of February from romantic involvements to include the love we have in other areas of our life, such as career. Some people are happy with what they do for a living, but many are not. The latter refer to their jobs as “the grind” or a prison. Most of the time there is one major reason why people are dissatisfied with their work: It doesn’t express who they are.

Before the industrial revolution our careers more aptly placed us in a category that not only described what people did but also situated them in a sector of society. It defined what socioeconomic circles in which people moved and lived. The other side of that system is that it forced young people into what was expected of them, not into a career that expressed who they were. Girls did not have many options at all. Boys had more opportunities, but can you imagine being the son of the village accountant with no interest or aptitude in math? In America today, it seems to be less about what we do and more about how much money we make doing it, regardless of the cost to our health, our families or our spirit.

You may fall into the category as do so many and dread going to work. Or, perhaps you have developed your heart’s desire or a hobby into a prosperous career. You may, like me, have multiple careers that fulfill your need for self expression and financial support. One way to look at a job we don’t like is to recognize that the money we receive from it may allow us to pursue other activities out of which we reap a myriad of benefits. In other words, your job may not be what you really want to do in life, but it gives you the means to pursue a hobby or leisure activity you enjoy. That can make a monotonous job more palatable.

There is a law in metaphysics called the Law of Reciprocity. It speaks to the principle that for every action there is a reciprocal reaction. In the case of the person who hates their job, the more s/he curses the position the worse the situation will get. If you are not blessed with the career of your dreams, why not try “blessing yourself out” of it, rather than have an ongoing litany of why it’s so awful? You will get results – so be cautious of what you ask for!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

The Love Month

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. Thanks to mass marketing wanting us to believe everyone should be in a fairy tale relationship, February 14 can mean expectations from those in relationships and gloom for singles.

Someone told me that Valentine’s Day doesn’t matter because “it is just a made-up holiday”. Actually, that can be said for all holidays. Our cultures have decided we need to acknowledge significant times in our lives so we make up a special day for it. The word “holiday” comes from a root term meaning of “holy day”. If we truly want to honor our relationships (romantic or otherwise) every day should be a holy day/holiday.

Valentine’s Day, made up, commercial or otherwise, is a fact that seems here to stay. We can choose to celebrate it, ignore it, or allow it to ruin our day, week or month. “It” doesn’t do anything to us. As with everything else in life, we have a choice whether to affect our experience through empowered thinking or be at the effect of the situation.

If we are single this is not the time to run out and find the flavor of the month date to try to make some poor sod into the romantic valentine about which we dream. If our committed relationship is not where we want it to be, then take action now to clarify the union. Celebrating a love holiday as if all is wonderful when the partners are not happy is like whipped cream on top of garbage. The outer appearance looks fine for a day, but once the glare of reality and heat of conflict returns the whipped cream sours and melts into the strife we had before February 14.

All of our relationships are sacred, though we often fail to treat them that way. In the movie Same Time Next Year the woman says that she stays married to her husband because of so many shared memories. She says it’s comfortable. We never hear if her husband feels the same way. Are they really in love, or just too lazy or apathetic to create the life they really want?

Communication is the most important factor in any relationship because everything else follows in line after concise and clear communication. “He should know what I’m thinking” is ridiculous. Half the time we don’t seem to know what we want ourselves. How the heck are others supposed to figure it out! An Ashleigh Brilliant card I love says, “I need a map of your mind with the dangerous areas noted in red.” Wouldn’t THAT be helpful!

Resolve to have the happiest Valentine’s Day ever. It might be with the one you love more than anyone. It might be with the family unit you’ve come to call your own. It might be with the relationship you have with yourself, Nature or your Higher Power. Whatever it is for you, rejoice in it, love it and commit to that kind of deep and enduring integrity all year long.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Beauty or Danger - It's Our Choice

It’s 5:45am on Tuesday, February 2, and I just walked outside onto our front porch after finishing my meditation. Rain is lightly falling on the half-inch of ice covering about three inches of snow in our front yard. The mini-dozer that removes snow across the street in the parking lot is gone and the only sound is the tinkling of invisible raindrops dancing on the ice-covered snow.

The tree in the front yard looks like an ice sculpture, with each bare branch weighed down by the frozen water, icicles soundlessly dripping down toward the garden. There is no other noise except the soft rain. No cars. No trains. No voices. Peace.

I grew up in a trailer park. It was not a “mobile home estate”. It was just a trailer park. We lived in a two-bedroom, 50 foot long by 10 foot wide Nashua, about ten or twelve feet from our neighbors. One of my most comforting childhood memories is lying there in bed listening to the rain on the metal roof. It didn’t rain often in southern California, but even the slightest rain sounded like ball bearings being dropped on the top of the trailer. It never frightened me; it was if the Universe was lulling me to sleep, soothing me.

I was reminded of that this morning as I looked out from the porch, two cats just inside the storm door wondering what this human was doing outside in the cold wearing only his pajamas and house slippers. The peace. The comfort. The quiet.

That’s when I notice the asphalt, which was so shiny. Soon neighbors would be getting ready to leave for work, school busses would be on the road in spite of a delayed start to the school day, and inevitably someone driving would have his or her mind on something other than slippery roads. Such beauty, yet such danger. Or was it?

When I moved to the northeast United States I was given one word of advice about driving on ice: DON’T! Life is like that, too. There are some things in life we really have no business doing. It’s not the same for each of us. I can have a glass of wine with dinner if I choose; a person who is a newly-recovering alcoholic may not be able to be in the same room with an unopened bottle. It is a different experience of danger brought about through our circumstances.

Where is there danger in your life that you could eliminate? Dieting with a full bowl of M’n’Ms in the living room by the chair your sit in to watch TV? Probably not a wise move. Trying to establish a more intimate relationship with your spouse or lover, but spending more time watching porn online than cuddling together? Not so much. Wanting to look our best, but haven’t flossed in weeks? You get the picture.

The Universe is not a dangerous place. It is a place of love, peace and wonderment, just like the ice portrait outside our house right now. We set ourselves up for danger by placing ourselves in situations in which we should not, and often need not, be. Choose just one thing this week that you feel is dangerous to you – just one. We don’t need danger for excitement. We can find excitement in the fullness of Life, the beauty of Nature, and the touch of a loved one.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry