The Love Month

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. Thanks to mass marketing wanting us to believe everyone should be in a fairy tale relationship, February 14 can mean expectations from those in relationships and gloom for singles.

Someone told me that Valentine’s Day doesn’t matter because “it is just a made-up holiday”. Actually, that can be said for all holidays. Our cultures have decided we need to acknowledge significant times in our lives so we make up a special day for it. The word “holiday” comes from a root term meaning of “holy day”. If we truly want to honor our relationships (romantic or otherwise) every day should be a holy day/holiday.

Valentine’s Day, made up, commercial or otherwise, is a fact that seems here to stay. We can choose to celebrate it, ignore it, or allow it to ruin our day, week or month. “It” doesn’t do anything to us. As with everything else in life, we have a choice whether to affect our experience through empowered thinking or be at the effect of the situation.

If we are single this is not the time to run out and find the flavor of the month date to try to make some poor sod into the romantic valentine about which we dream. If our committed relationship is not where we want it to be, then take action now to clarify the union. Celebrating a love holiday as if all is wonderful when the partners are not happy is like whipped cream on top of garbage. The outer appearance looks fine for a day, but once the glare of reality and heat of conflict returns the whipped cream sours and melts into the strife we had before February 14.

All of our relationships are sacred, though we often fail to treat them that way. In the movie Same Time Next Year the woman says that she stays married to her husband because of so many shared memories. She says it’s comfortable. We never hear if her husband feels the same way. Are they really in love, or just too lazy or apathetic to create the life they really want?

Communication is the most important factor in any relationship because everything else follows in line after concise and clear communication. “He should know what I’m thinking” is ridiculous. Half the time we don’t seem to know what we want ourselves. How the heck are others supposed to figure it out! An Ashleigh Brilliant card I love says, “I need a map of your mind with the dangerous areas noted in red.” Wouldn’t THAT be helpful!

Resolve to have the happiest Valentine’s Day ever. It might be with the one you love more than anyone. It might be with the family unit you’ve come to call your own. It might be with the relationship you have with yourself, Nature or your Higher Power. Whatever it is for you, rejoice in it, love it and commit to that kind of deep and enduring integrity all year long.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry