I have very few friends or acquaintances that are not over-scheduled or stressed-out because of the demands they have put on themselves. Like attracts like, so I too fall into that category more often than I would care to admit.
Please note that I did not blame this on the demands placed on us by others, but rather those that we place on ourselves. We have only ourselves to credit with being too busy, even if it was at the insistence of someone else that we do something. Why? Because we said “yes.”
We frequently say “yes” because we cannot think of a convenient, believable or acceptable reason why we should say “no.” How about “I do not want to do that” for starters?
“No” is a complete sentence. I am usually amused, sometimes annoyed, by people who respond negatively to a request I have made, only to follow their answer with a litany of reasons or excuses why they cannot comply. Personally, I do not need your reasons or your excuses. I hope you are unable to fulfill my request because you have something even more wonderful and exciting to do. Good for you!
If you do not want to do something someone else asks of you, please say “no.” Not, “No, because…” Acting out of obligation instead of willingness does not encourage clarity; neither does making excuses that sound like our own personal pity party. When we agree to do anything we do not want to do we muddy the energy around us. Instead of enjoying the task, we experience an underlying, nagging feeling of resentment. Why not respectfully decline and allow someone else who wants to fulfill the request be given the opportunity to serve?
Just for part of today, think carefully before you answer “yes” to something you do not want to do. Weigh the outcome, take a deep breath, and then answer from your heart. If you can say “no” without anger, resentment or attitude you will find a freedom you have not experienced up until now.
In Spirit, Joy and Playfulness,
Terry
1 comment:
Oh so true! Thank you for getting this out in the air! People drive me up the wall with their reasons, as if I care! It's not that I don't care about the person; it's their reasons I don't care about! When doing a task that takes many hands, whether it's cooking a grand meal, cleaning a building or constructing one, if everyone is not of one mind, one accord, there's no harmony and it's difficult to do it with joy because of one that feels obligated!
Thank you for allowing me to get that off my mind! Whew! I hasn't realized what a hot button that had become! I feel better!
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