Simple, Not Easy?
Ernest
Holmes taught us that changing our thinking changes our life. Not might. Not
could. It does. Why? Because everything we experience begins with a thought.
You are reading this blog because you made a consciousness, non-verbal decision
to click on a link. Or perhaps you made a choice recently or sometime in the
past to follow me on Facebook or Twitter. Either way, you’re not here by
accident or some divine providence. You made a decision.
Deciding
to change our thinking about anything is the first step to acceptance or at the
very least tolerance. It seems very simple. And you know what? It is! Then why
don’t more people do it? Why don’t the entire seven billion plus people on our
planet simply make the choice to follow their dreams, dance like nobody’s
watching and be their authentic selves?
Judgment.
We judge ourselves. We judge each other. We fret and sweat about how other
people have, do or might judge us. The universal principle of cause and effect
is not complicated, but all the anxiety we put ourselves through would
certainly make people think so. We,
not God or someone else, make it hard. We take something that is simple and
create a situation that is not easy.
I
just watched Brandon Blinn’s award-winning film, “Thirteen or so Minutes…” It’s
about two men who find themselves attracted to each other. I mean really attracted to each other. Nothing
remarkable about that today and certainly not in my world, but there’s a slight
twist. They’ve both been heterosexual their entire lives. It’s a short,
poignant look at how we pigeon-hole ourselves into strict labeling of every
part of our lives, including our ability to form intimate relationships.
I
strongly believe straight men in our society are sometimes so horrified that
they might be perceived as being gay that they often stop themselves of
expressing even the slightest bit of emotion or caring for another man. That’s
a pretty blanket statement, I realize, and I know plenty of straight men who
are confident enough in their masculinity and sexual orientation to know that
hugging, holding or kissing another man doesn’t make you gay. At one time I had
absolutely NO straight male friends. Now I count many with whom I share my life
and you might well be one of them. But as a rule in our country I stand by my
statement. Study after study of gay bashing perpetrators has come to prove that
the majority of them are repressing their own sexuality. There is obviously a
problem that goes unaddressed daily.
I’m
using the film and this issue to show just how easily we deny ourselves the
very things we desire because it doesn’t fit our pictures. We want to go on a
trip, but refuse to let a friend pay our way because we would feel pathetic. We
ask for the perfect job, but turn it down because we’d have to move. We want to
lose weight and even belong to a gym, but do nothing about it because it’s too
far to drive, too hot and humid today, or too much trouble since we’re fat
anyway…where DID all those lemon Oreos go to?
I
just got home from the grocery store and spent five minutes communing with the
most beautiful black butterfly with blue spots. I didn’t even know we had those
in our part of the country. S/He apparently needed a rest on the fountain
outside our front door and was quite content to have me watch the action of
folding and unfold its wings. Beautiful. If I have exactly four more days to
finish a very long “To Do” list before I leave on a ten-day trip to the Center
for Spiritual Living Asilomar Conference just south of Monterey, California, in
addition to managing the house this Friday for Voice United 8, the choral
concert that kicks off Central PA Pride this weekend. If I’d thought about my
chores and errands I would have never experienced the joy of just marveling at
beauty. An added benefit was that afterwards I was so much more relaxed.
Go
offline. Read your email just once or twice a day. Start enjoying life now,
because “now” is all we really have. Today open up to experience life without
expectation and without judgment. It really is that simple. Stop making it so
hard.
In
Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,
Terry
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