Thursday, May 15, 2014

Not Choosing Is Choosing

Have you ever had a decision to make in your life and just can’t figure out what to do? It might be as simple as what movie to see with a friend or it could be making a major career move. I know in my own life there have been times I over-analyzed a situation to the point that I thought my brain was going to explode, but still didn’t have a solution that I felt good about.
When Ernest Holmes said, “Change your thinking, change your life,” he was talking about making choices. We can’t change anything in our lives without making a conscious or unconscious choice to do so. I would proffer to you that making active, informed choices is preferable over reacting like we were a piece of machinery. Gary Zukav wrote that if we make conscious choices we evolve consciously. The opposite is also true.
In his book, “The Art of Uncertainty,” Dennis Merritt Jones wrote, “You can run but you cannot hide because making choices is not an option.” The question arises, Isn’t not choosing an option for us?” Jones says “no” and I agree. During my early training in the teachings of New Thought, one of my teachers said simply, “Not choosing is choosing.” I didn’t understand that at all at the time. I figured that if I didn’t decide then someone else would decide for me, eliminating the need to make a decision, e.g. let my partner or friend choose the movie. That act, though it seems passive – dare we say “victim” in some choices? – is quite active and IS choosing. We are choosing not to choose.
In this case what we are doing is choosing to allow someone else to have power in our lives, to allow the will and whim of another person to have control over our present life and quite possibly our future outcomes. That’s a lot of power to give away. It also sets us up for disappointment if our plan was to play the victim game. We can’t be a victim because we volunteered for the outcome by not making the choice ourselves. In other words, allowing the other person to choose the movie doesn’t give me the right to complain about how it was the wrong choice!
This week endeavor to make conscious, informed choices. If the time to choose doesn’t feel right to you, then perhaps the decision can be put off. If not, the wisdom of my mother as I was growing up applies:  “When in doubt, don’t.”
In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,


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