Saturday, October 27, 2012
Forgive me for no blog or message last week, but with the Unity of Harrisburg 30th Anniversary it was one of several things that just didn’t get done. Then this week catch up was more than I expected. Knowing, however, that everything before “but” is B.S., let me just leave it at “I’m sorry” with no further explanation!
Last week, Daily Om (http://dailyom.com) published the thoughts of Madisyn Taylor. Taylor brings up a very interesting angle on accepting an apology from someone: More often than not we say, “It’s alright,” or “It’s okay,” and by saying this we are allowing, accepting, and giving permission for the behavior to happen again. When we say “thank you” or “I accept your apology,” we are forced to sit in our feelings rather than ignore them.
Many of us, females particularly, have been told to put up and shut up throughout our lives. If our sexual orientation, skin color or cultural background is different than the norm in which we live just surviving can be a struggle. We can become less interested in being fully-expressed and more satisfied with not having conflict.
This ingrained belief system then shows up when someone says, “I’m sorry.” We can feel like we didn’t have the right to be hurt or upset. Yes, I know all the metaphysical psychobabble about how we partnered with the other person to create the situation and blaah, blaah, blaah. We have the right to expect integrity from others and the right to make decisions so that unpleasant situations do not repeat. Being kind does not require us to become a spiritual doormat.
Accepting an apology with grace puts “an end to this karmic chain,” according to Taylor. It allows us to acknowledge to the other person that we truly forgive them and at the same time recognizing the emotions we may have covered up because of what happened.
The next time someone apologies to you, be aware of how you respond. As Taylor says, “…often a simple ‘thank you’ is enough.
In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,