Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Does It Make You Want to Scream? – Part One: The spirituality of being human
Do you ever have situations in your life when you feel like you’ve done everything you can to produce the desired outcome, but the whole thing just falls apart…or blows up…or implodes?!? I believe we call that “frustration” (among other things!). It can often be accompanied by screaming and fist pounding. Doesn’t sound very “spiritual,” does it?
On the contrary, I think it does! We may be “spirit have a human experience,” but the fact remains we are HUMAN. We are here, on this planet and in these bodies, to participate in the human experience. That implies ALL of the human experience from the joy and ecstasy of love to the anger and pain of unpleasant scenarios. When it comes to the latter it just sucks.
There are a number of ways we can handle situations like this, but I believe there are two extremes we can observe. One is putting our tail between our legs while we skulk off into the shadows because we think the entire fiasco was our fault (aka, The Grand Martyr Syndrome, which has little to do with responsibility and smacks of being a victim). The other is to blame the other party(ies) for the disaster as if we weren’t part of the process. There has to be a happy medium somewhere. Yes, there is always personal responsibility, but in the attempt to accept our part we can ignore other factors that were involved.
I remember in the 1980s how apologies suddenly went out with dial phones. It was never just, “I’m sorry,” but rather some arrogant platitude that came out as, “Did you find out why you partnered with me to make me do what I did to get you so upset?” It was – and still is – metaphysical psyhobabble that lacks the healing energies of love and compassion. It does, however, grow out of ego and arrogance run rampant.
Rather than discuss “whose fault is it,” a more positive way of dealing with great upset is to do exactly what society may not want us to do: Have a little “reaction.” We might just want to have a good scream, cry or beat a few pillows. “Just git it out and git it all over yourself, honey,” my grandma Esther used to say, “’cause it’s better out than in.”
Pretending we aren’t royally ticked off when we are doesn’t help the healing process. To do that would be like bandaging up a severely, dirty wound without first cleaning out the injury and applying medication. If our frustrations do not manifest in one way they most assuredly will become apparent in some other way. Often that shows up as a physical or emotional ailment we may find hard to shake. Dealing with the blockage to our happiness, as opposed to pretending we aren’t affected by it, will allow us to get beyond the upset and onto the healing we deserve.
Have you been living with a long-standing physical problem that doesn’t seem to go away no matter what you do? Could it perhaps have started around the same time there was someone or something in your life that just made you want to scream? Perhaps you could consider giving into that – my favorite place is under water in the hot tub. If you decide to find a place, please inform others if they are around. Pets must decidedly not be in the area – no need to expose them to that! Once you get it all out I suspect you might find what’s under the anger – there’s always something under the anger! This allows us to more effectively deal with the real emotional issue. In my experience that emotion is fear, but below that is pain or hurt. Next week I’ll write more about how to deal with that kind of deep pain.
Until then, be willing to feel frustration and any other emotions should they arise, rather than burying your feelings. Then, find a safe, appropriate and preferable private, place to express that frustration. This is not about striking out at others, but going within our own consciousness to get at the root of our issue. Oh, and if you do decide to have a little scream of your own, take it from a trained singer: Lower your voice. There’s fare less chance of damaging your vocal chords that way. And, as always, if you need a listening ear to help you work through it, I’d be happy to assist!
In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,