- I failed to live up to my expectations or what others expected of me
- Someone else failed to live up to my expectations of what I thought was their potential
- I got my feelings hurt because another person didn’t act the way I expected them to act
- I got rejected and I failed to understand why since I’d done everything I thought I should have done
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
It Just Makes Me Want to Scream – Part Two: The spirituality of being human
Did you do any screaming last week? (If you don’t understand why I’d ask that question, go back and read last week’s blog first!) I hope you understood last week that I wasn’t suggesting we run around like a bunch of raving maniacs, screaming our heads off at the world. However, we can sometimes experience frustrations that need a release. That can be a private scream or a good cry.
I suggested last week that if we can get beyond the anger and frustration we will find fear and an emotional wounding of some sort. If we have the strength to go that far in our spiritual journey we will recognize just how deep we have buried the pain, how we feel damaged and by whom. How can we move through that kind of profound emotional sadness? Recognizing that we are hurt is the first step to our healing. It is then that we can take stock of what is causing the pain with the goal of moving through and beyond the experience.
In my experience most of anguish in my life has been caused by one of the following situations:
All these scenarios are about how we handle or mishandle events in our life. We get ticked off. We get our feelings hurt. Our egos get bruised. Sometimes we know we are the perpetrator; sometimes we feel like the victim. In the end, none of that matters. What matters is what we are going to do with the mess in front of us. If we want sunny-side-up eggs and break the yoke while cooking the eggs either we are going settle for scrambled eggs, or throw out the eggs and start over. Both are options. I humbly suggest, however, if you are going to willingly accept the scrambled experiences when you wanted sunny-side-up outcomes that you do not complain about the situation. It’s counterproductive to willingly accept less than we desire and then whine about it.
If we are willing to recognize the wound and identify the cause, then what is the next step? If others are involved that could mean admitting our hurt to them. Will they help clean the wound and apply a soothing balm, or will they rip the wound further apart and pour salt into it? There is a possibility that some people could do the latter. The mere suggestion even more pain can occur might be enough to stop us from moving forward. But even if that does happen, here’s the blessing: We know where we stand and we no longer have to permit that individual to continue abusing us.
If we find that the wound is imagined or concocted, designed specifically by our ego and acted out in our own mind with no one else involved, then we have the challenge of dealing with those issues. We might have to take a very personal and honest look at how we are living our life. Are there decisions we’ve been putting off because we’re afraid of the outcome? We can stand by the side of the pool and worry that the water is cold, or we can jump in and find out. Sometimes we’re afraid to even stick our toe in!
There is a way to work through deep-seated pain and exit the experience to peace and freedom. Here’s what you might want to try this week: When you have a few quite moments alone, take a very, very, very deep breath. Allow a long-standing problem you have had come to you. In your mind, turn it over and look at it from all sides. Then ask Spirit what it is you need to do to move through and beyond the issue. You may already know the answer, even if you don’t like it. Whatever your next step is, would you be willing to take it, or at least consider taking it? While we may not always like what we have to do, there is a tremendous sense of empowerment if we can muster the courage to do so. Don’t think you can do it alone? No problem – you don’t have to! Please let me know how I can support you, or reach out to someone you trust to walk with you through this period of time. Together, we can remind each other of just how powerful, how wonderful and how magnificent we are.
In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,