Great Expectations

Have you ever suffered disappointment at some time in your life? I suppose that’s a rhetorical question since the answer is, “Well, duh!” We all experience disappointments. Most of my disillusionments have come from when I fall short of reaching my own goals or expectations for myself, not when others fail to live up to my desires. If you, like me, have been given the title of perfectionist (as if that was a badge of shame!), you are well aware that someone who is always striving for perfection is usually harder on him/herself than other people. We SO want to do it “right,” whatever “right” is for us, for others or society. It begs the question, Is perfection is really possible? Are we running on a treadmill of frustration by trying so hard? In fact, why have expectations, great of otherwise, at all?

It’s never perfect and it’s always perfect.

Let me explain what I mean by that. I’ve been privileged to officiant for at least a hundred weddings, holy unions, commitment ceremonies, baptisms, christenings, funerals and memorials over my twenty years in ministry, as well as house blessings, pet blessings and a few exorcisms (more about that another time…). What I can report to you is that when planning the event the people involved want it to be “perfect” – this is particularly true for weddings. The belief is that we have “one shot” to get this right. No retakes. No revisions. One shot. Period.

One of the places I perform weddings in our area has a beautiful, expansive Italian garden. Most brides select a processional that goes from the very top of the gardens to a pavilion at the bottom. With a large wedding party it can take up to seven or eight minutes, but choreographed correctly by “moi” it’s a beautiful and memorable event – unless it rains, as it often can in the summer here in south central Pennsylvania. We had an absolute downpour one day, but the bride was adamant about the processional. So it took place, in the downpour, with huge golf umbrellas provided by the resort for some protection. And … it was perfect.

HOW could have been?!? The couple had great expectations of their special day and a near monsoon was not part of the plan. I’ve heard there’s an Italian tradition that says when it rains on your wedding it means God is showering you with blessings. If that’s the case this couple was blessed beyond all expectation! The bride got exactly what she wanted – a beautiful processional – even if the gown and bridesmaids dresses were a little worse for the wear upon arrival at the lower pavilion. You might think I was dealing with a bridezilla who, come hell or (in this case) high water, was going to have it her way or the highway. Not at all.

I don’t see it that way. If anything, I believe it showed a willingness, tenacity, dedication and determination to fulfill the desire of her fiancé and her. Have you had your plans go array to this extent, or even more severe? Did you think it was a failure and did you suffer the event? It’s never perfect and it’s always perfect. What that means to me is that it, whatever “it” is, is going to be exactly what it’s going to be. We can plan or outline every single detail and be disappointed if things don’t go according to plan, or we can go with the flow and enjoy the moment for what it is. Scripture says, “Time and unforeseen circumstances befall us all.” What does that mean? It means life happens. “Shift” happens.

How we deal with the changes and shifts in life about which we seem to have no control will determine our moods, our attitudes about life, how much people want to be around us, and our future. Without “great expectations” of our future we will most likely end up with a less than a stellar or satisfying life. What do you “expect?” When Emma Curtis Hopkins, New Thought teacher and mental healing expert, was asked by Raymond Charles Barker why she thought a particular case for which she was present seem to have a healing that occurred so quickly and easily. Her answer? “It was what I expected.” Can’t you just imagine in the story of the resurrection of Lazarus when the great teacher Jesus proclaimed, “Lazarus, come out!” but nothing happening? Excuse me? The healing was, again, what he expected.

What do you expect from life, from your future? I invite you this week to think bigger than ever about what you want your life to look like. Would you be willing to do that? You could sit quietly, calm your senses and uncover the joys you desire, the peace you seek and the healings you require. Write those down, without regard to how many come up, and then pick just three. I’m not talking about a new car or a new job. I’m talking about how you envision a peace, a more harmonious life. Then give it to Spirit and expect great things! Let me know how that works out for you!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Living With Instability

It has been said that the only constant is change. That’s a paradox, but quite true. We humans are linear time beings. We tend to fret about what happened in the past and worry about what is to occur in the future. But in truth we have only the present since the past is gone and the future yet to come.

Perhaps that’s one of the reasons we often feel so agitated or unsettled:  We can be so busy pining over the past and wringing our hands about the future that we have no time to enjoy the present. We might crave knowledge of the future so we’ll know exactly what to expect. That would give us a sense of security – no unknown factors! Yea!

The only problem is life just isn’t that way and much of what we have been taught about security is not really all that reliable in the long run. No matter how precisely we plan something it seldom goes exactly the way we thought it would. Sometimes it turns out better than we could imagine; other times it is a mild or major disappointment. Ultimately it usually ends up being just fine. Call as many psychics as you like, burn candles, cast stones and read tea leaves, but to be 100 percent sure something is going to happen means we have to wait to live through it.

The amount of instability we can sometimes feel relates directly to how empowered we feel in any given situation. A woman may decide to conceive a child, but other than scheduling a C-section she has little if any control over when the baby will come. Like the pregnant mother, we may have a time frame (not more than nine months for the mother, thank you very much!), but the exact amount of time for our goals and desires to manifest is often out of our reach. It doesn’t mean we can’t give our goals a date as to when we expect fulfillment of our desires, but that date isn’t written in stone either.

There’s two major ways we can deal with the types of instability we all encounter from time-to-time. One way is to get our knickers in twist about the whole affair, work ourselves into a lather and make most everyone around us wish we were someplace else. Or, we can relax into the peace of mind in knowing that we have done everything possible to affect the changes we desire and recognize that part of the process of creation is letting go of that which no longer serves us. The chick doesn’t grieve the loss of the egg shell, nor the butterfly the confines of its cocoon.

We can learn from the spring growth we are seeing around us this season. Watch as bulbs grow into green stalks that give way to wondrous pallets of color. Think of your own desires as these beautiful flowers and relax into the process of seeing your dreams and goals blossom into grand reality.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Are You Content or Complacent?

There are an unlimited number of advertisers vying for our attention. Many of these suggest that if we look like, smell like or sound like the digitally-enhanced and airbrushed models in the ads our lives will be complete. It’s a marketing ploy that says, “If you have this (whatever this is), you’ll be happy,” even though looking like those models, even if we wanted to, is usually physically impossible.

I live and teach a philosophy that encourages us to make changes in our lives to better ourselves, if that is our goal. It’s a method of creating results in our lives and a means to have a life not only worth living, but one that is truly magnificent. But some students of our teaching are so busy moving onto the next goal, project or achievement that they seldom stop to enjoy what they have created. Standing still, in their minds, can be easily interpreted as complacency.

Only we can determine whether we are content or complacent. The place to find that answer is deep within our gut. We can ask ourselves at a core level whether or not we are happy. The answer will not come in words, but rather in a sense of calm peacefulness or a gnawing in the pit of our stomach. We then have the opportunity to act on that feeling.

As with any desire, the result of what we are seeking may not always be the thing we seem to want. One whose sole focus is seeking a life partner may miss out on loving relationships all around him. Another who is determined to find a new job may be oblivious to the positive changes occurring in the company in which she is already employed. While we can certainly cultivate desires simply because we want to, it can also be prudent to question our motives as a means to more fully clarify our true intention.

I would ask you, as I’m beginning to ask myself more and more, if the happiness and joy you seek may already be in front of you, but just not showing up in the form your ego is demanding. By all means, continue creating goals and formulate plans to have more good and joy in your life. Just remember to stop and enjoy the contentment you’ve already created!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry