Great Expectations

Have you ever suffered disappointment at some time in your life? I suppose that’s a rhetorical question since the answer is, “Well, duh!” We all experience disappointments. Most of my disillusionments have come from when I fall short of reaching my own goals or expectations for myself, not when others fail to live up to my desires. If you, like me, have been given the title of perfectionist (as if that was a badge of shame!), you are well aware that someone who is always striving for perfection is usually harder on him/herself than other people. We SO want to do it “right,” whatever “right” is for us, for others or society. It begs the question, Is perfection is really possible? Are we running on a treadmill of frustration by trying so hard? In fact, why have expectations, great of otherwise, at all?

It’s never perfect and it’s always perfect.

Let me explain what I mean by that. I’ve been privileged to officiant for at least a hundred weddings, holy unions, commitment ceremonies, baptisms, christenings, funerals and memorials over my twenty years in ministry, as well as house blessings, pet blessings and a few exorcisms (more about that another time…). What I can report to you is that when planning the event the people involved want it to be “perfect” – this is particularly true for weddings. The belief is that we have “one shot” to get this right. No retakes. No revisions. One shot. Period.

One of the places I perform weddings in our area has a beautiful, expansive Italian garden. Most brides select a processional that goes from the very top of the gardens to a pavilion at the bottom. With a large wedding party it can take up to seven or eight minutes, but choreographed correctly by “moi” it’s a beautiful and memorable event – unless it rains, as it often can in the summer here in south central Pennsylvania. We had an absolute downpour one day, but the bride was adamant about the processional. So it took place, in the downpour, with huge golf umbrellas provided by the resort for some protection. And … it was perfect.

HOW could have been?!? The couple had great expectations of their special day and a near monsoon was not part of the plan. I’ve heard there’s an Italian tradition that says when it rains on your wedding it means God is showering you with blessings. If that’s the case this couple was blessed beyond all expectation! The bride got exactly what she wanted – a beautiful processional – even if the gown and bridesmaids dresses were a little worse for the wear upon arrival at the lower pavilion. You might think I was dealing with a bridezilla who, come hell or (in this case) high water, was going to have it her way or the highway. Not at all.

I don’t see it that way. If anything, I believe it showed a willingness, tenacity, dedication and determination to fulfill the desire of her fiancé and her. Have you had your plans go array to this extent, or even more severe? Did you think it was a failure and did you suffer the event? It’s never perfect and it’s always perfect. What that means to me is that it, whatever “it” is, is going to be exactly what it’s going to be. We can plan or outline every single detail and be disappointed if things don’t go according to plan, or we can go with the flow and enjoy the moment for what it is. Scripture says, “Time and unforeseen circumstances befall us all.” What does that mean? It means life happens. “Shift” happens.

How we deal with the changes and shifts in life about which we seem to have no control will determine our moods, our attitudes about life, how much people want to be around us, and our future. Without “great expectations” of our future we will most likely end up with a less than a stellar or satisfying life. What do you “expect?” When Emma Curtis Hopkins, New Thought teacher and mental healing expert, was asked by Raymond Charles Barker why she thought a particular case for which she was present seem to have a healing that occurred so quickly and easily. Her answer? “It was what I expected.” Can’t you just imagine in the story of the resurrection of Lazarus when the great teacher Jesus proclaimed, “Lazarus, come out!” but nothing happening? Excuse me? The healing was, again, what he expected.

What do you expect from life, from your future? I invite you this week to think bigger than ever about what you want your life to look like. Would you be willing to do that? You could sit quietly, calm your senses and uncover the joys you desire, the peace you seek and the healings you require. Write those down, without regard to how many come up, and then pick just three. I’m not talking about a new car or a new job. I’m talking about how you envision a peace, a more harmonious life. Then give it to Spirit and expect great things! Let me know how that works out for you!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Whose Potential Are You Trying to Realize?

Where in your life are you beating your head against the wall? Did you notice I assumed you are “beating your head against the wall?” I can nearly guarantee, with very few exceptions, that you are doing something currently that feels exactly that way. You may feel stuck in a relationship, dissatisfied with your living space, or wondering why you haven’t found a job in the same field as that expensive degree you obtained. But, if you can’t find something in your life that fits this description, just stop reading, don’t waste your time and I’ll see you back here next week! Oh….And kudos to you! You rock!

Still reading, aren’t you? Here’s the kicker – I’m still here, too, and writing this blog. In my own past history someone else was usually involved in me bloodying my head. Mind you, I always had his/her best intentions in mind. The problem was that it was what I wanted for them, not what they wanted. But I, in my infinite wisdom, had decided someone else needed to be more expressive or successful or something. My heart, and yours, too, is in the right place. We mean well, but because we don’t have agreement with the other person in this endeavor it doesn’t work out to our liking.

Haven’t you said, or heard someone say, “S/He has SO much potential! If only s/he would (fill in the blank).” It seems we human beings have some innate ability to readily recognize exactly what everyone else should be doing. And here’s the second kicker:  While we’re busy trying to figure out or help everyone else be amazing, we probably aren’t doing such a bang up job on ourselves.

Here is some “Terry Talk” for you to chew on:  You cannot have a relationship with someone’s potential (though God knows I’ve tried at times!). I first figured this out decades ago and it’s still true. Ignoring that statement is why we find ourselves so frustrated at times. We can so easily be intoxicated in the potential that we fail to see the individual.

When we unilaterally decide someone needs our input and/or guidance they become a “project.” If we are not mindful, we get so involved in helping the other person to be wonderful that it becomes our purpose in life. Meanwhile, the authentic self within us is screaming, “What about me?!?” “Why aren’t my needs being met?” That’s why that even if we convince our loved one to do what we feel is right for them we still don’t feel quite complete with the process. And there’s the biggest clue on this path – if it doesn’t feel right, then why are we doing it?

Unfortunately, instead of stepping back, taking a deep breath and examining our own potential we can very easily get sucked into finding another “project,” aka “victim.” The question is, When will it be your turn to be amazing? When will you give yourself the time to nurture the greatest potential within you? When will you take the step to stop pining about your potential and take the steps necessary to fulfill your purpose on earth? We have to recognize our gifts – otherwise we are robbing the world of something no one else can give – and then act in such a way as to make them available to the world.

A big part of our work on this planet is that of service to others. We must, however, begin with ourselves. Another universal truth is “As above, so below. As within, so without.” It is only by giving fully of ourselves that we can truly be the most effective in helping others, and that means recognizing our unique inner light.

To get more deeply in touch with your inner guidance I would like to suggest that over the next few days you stop yourself – even for a moment – when you next find you are lamenting over a friend or loved one not living up to their potential. Take that opportunity to bless them on their current path, close your eyes and ask yourself, How can I best fulfill my own potential? What within me is calling me to come forward, to color outside the lines, to show the world who I am? And, as always, have fun with this!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Do You Have a Dream?

I thought I’d risk being one of many people writing this week about Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Everyone pretty much knows the story of his life, his historical speech in Washington, D.C. and his tragic death. I don’t want to focus on any of those events. I want to focus on what allowed him to succeed where others didn’t seem to be able to do so.

He had a dream – I know, you’ve heard that and it’s no surprise. We all have dreams, but Dr. King truly believed his dream would be reality. Unfortunately, our country has still failed to reach the lofty goals he set for us, but in many ways we are closer than ever before. For us to realize our dreams we must have the patience and the tenacity to hold on to that vision until it moves from the thought to the thing. It is impatience and neglect that causes many dreams to fade away or die an untimely death.

The founder of the Science of Mind philosophy, Dr. Ernest S. Holmes, had a dream, too. He wrote, “We all look forward to the day when science and religion shall walk hand in hand through the visible to the invisible.” We are closer to that dream now than ever before. Quantum physics has proven that we are all one, just energy vibrating at different frequencies. I imagine that Holmes would love to see the advances we’ve made since his death in 1960 to bringing science and religion closer together.

Do you have a dream? I don’t mean something you hope will happen, or something you don’t feel could ever happen, yet you continue to pine for it. I mean a “stomp-your-foot-down-I-know-this-is-possible” dream. Perhaps it is something that you wanted as a child, or a goal you had as a young adult. Something squelched that dream. Is the seed still there deep inside you? It most probably is. Would you be willing to do what it takes to help it germinate once more and assist it to grow into a vibrant, healthy plant?

There is a power within us that knows no boundaries and refuses to accept anything but what it expects. That power is at our disposal all the time, but we have to utilize it. It’s as simple as turning on a light instead of wandering around in a dark room bumping into the furniture. Be willing this week to turn a bright light on your life and remind yourself of what it is you dream could be a reality. The more you know that’s possible the more you’ll believe that in the mind of God it is already a reality.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry