Where Is Your Focus?

Have you ever noticed just how quickly our moods can change? For example, what happens to your outlook when you think of a tragic event in your life or in the life of someone else? Immediately our minds focus on the details, perhaps imagining the experience worse than it was.

I had a lucid dream at some point last night. If you’re not familiar with the term “lucid dream” it means that you realize in your dream that you are dreaming. Dream Views describes it as a person realizing they are in a dream after experiencing something and then stopping to question their reality.

In my dream I experienced something unpleasant having to do with an organization in which I have had conflict in the past. I knew very well it was a dream, but the experience was such that it perfectly scripted a hidden fear about confrontation in general. All-in-all it was most unpleasant.

I awoke completely focused on the dream that had gotten me so upset. I “forgot” to do my morning stretches before getting up and also neglected my meditation work that follows. I put too much milk in my coffee and found myself totally annoyed about it. Fortunately my higher self slapped me back into reality. I often hear the “still small voice” of intuition, but additionally I seem to have a “slap-Terry-up-side-the-head” spiritual connection that lets me know when I’m out of sync! It’s annoying, but helpful.

There was a time in my life that I would have allowed that dream to ruin my whole day, have been a complete grouch, and probably gotten into an argument with a lover, co-worker or unsuspecting clerk at a store. I give thanks for my teachers and daily spiritual practice that allows me to focus on what I want, instead of what I don’t want, which results in a happier life. But, it was a stark reminder for me that my thoughts definitely control my life and my attitude. As Mike Dooley says, “Thoughts become things – Choose the good ones!”

What are you focusing on right now? Is it what you want to happen? If not, why give it any more of your time? Unhealthy, unproductive thoughts that live rent-free in our mind don’t do us or anyone else any good. This probably isn’t news to you, but if you’re like me it’s a good idea to remind yourself. Commit right now to focus on what you want.  Let go of the fear and uncertainty of worrying about your future or fretting about the past. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow will be the experience you create today!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Getting Happiness Back In Your Life

This week I want to chat with you about how scented balls led to a change in my thinking and attitude. Now you might be wondering exactly what those are and how they might enrich your life. Or, you might be taken aback by what fear could turn into a very different discussion. Either way I can safely say that you probably have a smile on your face.

Or not. I hope so, though! The scented balls I’m talking about are those gel-like, round beads that you may have seen in a candle store. They scent rooms or your car with a far lighter scent than a candle or incense. My partner got one for me and it fits perfectly in the backseat cup holder in my car.

But after a couple of weeks of summer heat, all that was left of the puffed up nodules were some very small hard, seed-like looking grains. The scent still lingered, but what to do? Just for fun I filled the jar halfway with warm water. In less than 30 minutes I had a jar full of those gel-like beads again, as well as a more pronounced scent for my car!

I marveled at how quickly and easily they transformed back to their intended appearance and function. (Side note:  I’ve done this process again at least twice with the same result!) It occurred to me that sometimes I feel just like those dried out scented balls. My heart becomes hard and feels like it’s going to crack in half. Then someone smiles or is kind to me when I’m out running errands. Or, I may read something funny online that makes me question my sadness or anger. My heart softens and the world no longer looks so cruel and cold.

How quickly that can happen! In an instant – far less than 30 minutes! – we can be transformed. Our lives become immediately happier and we don’t feel as alone. I don’t know what the triggers are for you, either for feeling down or rejuvenating yourself to the person you love to be. But I do know it’s important that we all find what it is we do to change our attitude. For me it’s a Beach Boys album or a Cher disco CD. (Give me a break here? I grew up on the Southern California coast and came out in the late 1970s!)

Find something you know will make you happy. Perhaps it’s a reading, a place, some music or the kindness of a friend. Keep that action on mental speed dial. Our spirit may be eternal, but our lives in these bodies have a very limited time on the planet. Take advantage of every second of every day!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Have You Arrived?

How do you know when you’ve “arrived?” What I’m asking is, How do you know when you’ve accomplished what you set out to accomplish, or that you have the life you want?

With some things, like taking a plane from one city to another, you know exactly when you’ve arrived. The aircraft stops, you get off the plane and you go about your business. But life is not always that cut and dry.

I suggest to you that too often we wait to do what we want to do, or experience what we desire to accomplish, because we are waiting for some power outside ourselves. We delay our joy and happiness by making the assumption that to achieve our goals we must go through a pre-determined set of mile markers. For example, “I can’t get a good job until I get my bachelors, masters or doctoral degree.” Therefore, no job or career, until the achievement of one or all of those goals, will ever be good enough to be “good.”

Here’s how I started thinking about this last week. As you may or may not know I’m in the process of completely re-designing my ministry and how I serve others. There are, of course, some components I will keep that have worked well for me and benefited those whom I have served over the past two decades. But other projects and opportunities I have in mind are brand new areas for me, a few using cutting-edge technology which I have yet to learn!

I’ll be 60 next year. I actually started thinking that with this new ministry I’ll be able to enjoy the life I want in another ten or twenty years. I got stuck for a moment in the shoulda/couldas. (NOTE:  Please read the rest of this paragraph with a whiny voice.) “I shoulda done this twenty years ago. I coulda moved forward before now. Now because I delayed I won’t be able to enjoy the life I want for some time.”

WRONG! I know exactly what kind of life I want to have and – drum roll – are you ready? – I’m already living it! There isn’t anything I’ll be doing in twenty years that I don’t already do now. We have this idea in the U.S. that we have to work a long time to create the life we want and, in the back of our minds, feel like we might be too old or too feeble to enjoy it once we get there. Here’s a quote I love to remind myself of from time-to-time:

The world knows you in terms of your history,
but the universe knows you in terms of how you
are knowing yourself at this present moment.

Michael Hyatt writes an amazing blog. This week his topic is, “Why Retirement is a Dirty Word.” I re-tweeted a quote from him that speaks directly to what I’m writing about here:  “If you’re doing meaningful work you enjoy, why would you ever want to quit?” This is exactly how I’m living my life, helping others to have the life they envision for themselves – not twenty or thirty years from today, but starting right now.

Let go of the past! Forget about what was and concentrate on what “is.” We do not have to wait for anything to enjoy the life we desire. We are only a thought away from changing our attitude and our outlook by simply changing our perception of what’s happening in front of our faces.

What has to happen before you will have the life you want? Do you feel something stands in the way of your happiness or a change needs to occur before you can be satisfied? Would you be willing to ask yourself if that is really true? We human beings are spectacular at convincing ourselves of what we can’t have. The magical answer to obtaining our desires is that we can just as well convince ourselves that we can have the life we want.

The universe is here to lovingly and rapidly rush to our aid. It is conspiring to give us what we want. The key is that we have to be willing to allow this to happen. What are you waiting for? Go for it!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

P.S.  To read Michael’s full posting, click here!

The Power of Saying "Yes"

Have you ever wanted something – REALLY wanted something! – but, when it was placed before you there was a moment of hesitation before you accepted it? It’s happened to me. It seems that many of us have a problem saying “yes.” We can be so focused on needing something in our lives that when it (whatever “it” is) appears we find ourselves questioning the arrival. The packaging (or the form in which our good comes to us) may not look like what we expected. It may come quicker than we thought possible. We might even avoid accepting our good because we feel unworthy. So let’s look at some of the reasons that stops us from saying “yes” to life and how to be more receptive to our good.

• ·       Packaging – Wow…that’s a big one in my history. The example I use is the man who asks for help and it comes from the most unexpected source – the mother-in-law he can’t stand! My personal favorite was perfect, Divine Right guidance that came from an ex-lover who owed me money. Accept THAT one! It wasn’t easy, since he had no intention of repaying me, but by gritting my teeth I got the answer I needed to return to “yes,” meaning peace of mind.
• ·       Immediate demonstration – I love this one and, again, I must tell a story on myself about it. I had been dating the man who is now my partner for a little over a year. We had “that talk” and decided we wanted to make a go of it (guess it worked as that was nearly 10 years ago). That meant I had to move, so I put in a transfer with my company at the time, expecting it to take about a year. Instead, I got my transfer in less than a month. We panicked. I panicked! Should I say “no” to the transfer? A wise friend said, “Let me get this straight. You asked God to provide for you. God did, and now you are going to thumb your nose at the Universe because it happened quicker than your little mind thought possible. Is that about it?” I took the transfer.
• ·       Unworthiness – Here’s where self-doubt comes into play. We may, for whatever reason – the perfect daily guide, a friend’s encouragement, etc – decide, “Darn it! I’m going to DO this!” whatever “this” is. We pray, we meditate, we make plans and create a goal list and VOILÁ! The object of our desire is before us. The logical thing to do is open our arms wide, embrace the gift and give thanks. But we don’t always do that, do we? Sometimes it’s packaging or timing, but often it can be that now that the object of our desire is before us we start to feel shame, unworthiness or guilt.

Let’s not forget the role that wisdom plays in the power of “yes.” There are some people who tell us to say “Yes!” to everything. I’m not opposed to accepting my good, in fact I welcome it. But let’s understand that if someone suggests you walk out in front of a bus with him, or accept a poisonous snake as a gift, we acknowledge that what we really mean to say “Yes!” to everything that is for our highest good. It’s the process of implied wisdom, using our past experiences in life for a beneficial present and future.

Here’s another way of looking at this. We have enough Easter candy in the house right now to start our own dollar store. If I say “Yes!” to my ever-present chocolate cravings every time I pass by the kitchen counter I’ll soon not fit between the counter and the frig. As my chiropractor (a bodybuilder) pointed out to me recently, I can’t be tempted if it’s not there. Well, there is THAT! But, for now, the candy IS there. I get to decide (on a most frequent schedule) to say “yes” or “no” to yet another piece of chocolate. Based on the way my suit felt yesterday when I wore it I’m choosing to say “no” more often. What “candy of instant gratification” is calling to you right now?

Here’s a suggestion for you to play with over the next week based on the three points outlined above. First, be sure that you really want something before you ask for it and be willing to accept it without deciding exactly how it’s supposed to show up. Second, open the space to accept your good a whole lot quicker than you might be able to imagine. And, third, receive your good with grace and appreciation, knowing that if it’s presented to you that it’s yours to claim! Care to give that a try?

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

We Can't Whine Our Way to Happiness

We’ve heard it before. Most if not all of us have done it before. What is “it”? It’s whining for what we want. Fill in the blank anyway you choose: I wanna new job. I wanna new boyfriend. I wanna a new/young/slimmer body. Whine, whine, whine! (Be sure to look pathetic while you’re whining – it’s almost required for the full, desperate effect.)

There’s nothing wrong with wanting more out of our lives and embracing change to have it happen. All of those desires above, or ones you might have come up with yourself, are worthwhile goals. The reason whining doesn’t work to affect change in a lasting way is that whining comes from the despair of a victim. To truly have the lives we desire we must come from place of empowerment and confidence.

This requires faith on our part. It also demands that our prayer work is one of acceptance and not petitioning. Madisyn Taylor put it well in her recent article, “As You Believe.” In it she states, “When we ask the universe for something, the unspoken message is that what we want does not exist, and the universe accepts this as truth.”

Understanding that what we are seeking is already ours in Truth is first step to manifesting the change we pursue. Simple, but not always easy. It’s not easy to feel abundant and prosperous if our checking account is overdrawn, our wallet empty and bills are multiplying on our desk. This is where faith and responsibility become our friends.

We must have the faith that our current situation is not the way must live in perpetuity. If our faith is lacking then it’s time to call a trusted spiritual partner or guide to “borrow” some of their faith. By allowing another person to know the Truth about us, to have faith in our potential, we usually find that our burden is lighter.

Taking full responsibility allows us to move out of blame and acting like victim. I firmly accept that I have been completely responsible for every event in my life. In many cases, if not most, the situation was caused by negative or self-deprecating subconscious thoughts I failed to rein in. I must admit that at the time I didn’t necessarily recognize my personal responsibility, but in retrospect I know it to be so.

Empowering ourselves and taking responsibility for the lives we see before us and the body we see in the mirror is a key to freedom. It releases us from the shackles of negative thinking and undesirable results. Join me this week to affirm your faith and achieving your desires through personal responsibility for the outcome.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

"The Glitter and the Glue"

I came upon a delightful book in my travels this week. The author is Kelly Corrigan (http://kellycorrigan.com) and her new work is entitled, Glitter and Glue. The book is based on a comment her mother once made. It seems in their family her father was the glitter and her mother was the glue. I knew I had to blog about that.

What a wonderful metaphor! Then I thought about Mardi Gras this week. Talk about glitter! But have you ever seen Bourbon Street in New Orleans on Ash Wednesday morning? It’s not pretty. It is, however, quite an affront to our olfactory and visual abilities. Glitter can make quite the mess. Even on greeting cards, it’s the glue that holds (most) of the glitter in place for our enjoyment.

Whether it’s greeting cards or fantastic costumes at Mardi Gras in New Orleans and Carnival in Rio, there’s an awful lot of structure, fasteners, stitching and, of course, glue that allow us to enjoy the sparkle of pageantry and spectacle. The same is true of our lives. We can’t have the freedom to express our personal glitter in life if we don’t have a firm foundation gluing our consciousness to immutable principles.

Perhaps you can join me in noticing when you are the glitter and when you are the glue as you move through the next few days. Let go of “trying” to be yourself and just “be” your authentic self. Don’t know how to do that? Start with eliminating the judgment you hold on your hopes and dreams. Add to that a willingness to give up the desire to please everyone around you and begin to embrace a higher level of self-care than you’ve experienced before now.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Being Successful Isn't Hard

It’s funny how “stuff” from growing up can still be echoing in our minds far into adulthood. I was taught by my father that we’d never have enough money and that there would always be more bills than money. Sometimes our family couldn’t get ends to meet, but at least if the ends waved at each other in passing we felt like we’d accomplished something.

Perhaps you were taught that you had to work hard to make a living. You may also believe that being successful requires a lot of hard word, i.e. long, arduous hours; sacrificing all personal time; never taking vacations; maybe stepping on more than a few people; or, knocking them off the next rung of the ladder.

On the other hand, you may have adopted the “fake it until you make it” stance or preach that if you just believe you are successful you will be. That creates a VERY wide gulf between the “work hard to make a living” folks and the blissful dears who are still waiting for their dreams to come true without doing anything about it.

What we believe IS what occurs in our life. Not immediately, thankfully, .e.g. “I wish I was dead!” That’s a great example of the difference between what we say and what we believe. If we had the concrete beliefs of Jesus of Nazareth, Paramahansa Yogananda and other people we consider masters we, too, would have a lot more of what we want in our lives a whole lot quicker.

A common belief is that being a success is hard. It isn’t. I’m not saying there isn’t work involved, because there most certainly is. We just have to redefine our thoughts around the work that usually accompanies success. The word “work” comes from the same root as does the word worship. Do you find your spiritual practice work? I certainly hope not! So what if your work was an act of worship? If you had the same confidence in your success as you do in God, Spirit, Divine Love or whatever you call your Higher Power? Hmmmmm……things that make you go, Hmmmmm.

Do you realize how many people out there are trying to sell you their technique to get ahead in the world, to be a success and make a lot of money? Some are marketing valid and proven techniques, some are selling snake oil, but all are bent on convincing you that they have worked their fingers to the bone to create a system to make it easy for you to be just like them, and all for a mere two, three or more thousand dollars of training after training after training. Maybe you can even become a certified trainer in their method to teach others how to channel money back to them. I find that dizzying.

In the words of Mike Dooley, the “folks who meet with life success and then tell the world it was due to their hard work, … almost NEVER work harder than others. They don't even work smarter than others. They simply leveraged the magic by thinking, speaking, and acting in line with what they wanted.” How about this week we all think about leveraging our efforts through doing just that:  thinking, speaking and acting in line with what we want.

Just one thing:  YOU have to figure out what you want. Oh-oh…there’s another one of those “Hmmmm” moments.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry