The Power of Saying "Yes"

Have you ever wanted something – REALLY wanted something! – but, when it was placed before you there was a moment of hesitation before you accepted it? It’s happened to me. It seems that many of us have a problem saying “yes.” We can be so focused on needing something in our lives that when it (whatever “it” is) appears we find ourselves questioning the arrival. The packaging (or the form in which our good comes to us) may not look like what we expected. It may come quicker than we thought possible. We might even avoid accepting our good because we feel unworthy. So let’s look at some of the reasons that stops us from saying “yes” to life and how to be more receptive to our good.

• ·       Packaging – Wow…that’s a big one in my history. The example I use is the man who asks for help and it comes from the most unexpected source – the mother-in-law he can’t stand! My personal favorite was perfect, Divine Right guidance that came from an ex-lover who owed me money. Accept THAT one! It wasn’t easy, since he had no intention of repaying me, but by gritting my teeth I got the answer I needed to return to “yes,” meaning peace of mind.
• ·       Immediate demonstration – I love this one and, again, I must tell a story on myself about it. I had been dating the man who is now my partner for a little over a year. We had “that talk” and decided we wanted to make a go of it (guess it worked as that was nearly 10 years ago). That meant I had to move, so I put in a transfer with my company at the time, expecting it to take about a year. Instead, I got my transfer in less than a month. We panicked. I panicked! Should I say “no” to the transfer? A wise friend said, “Let me get this straight. You asked God to provide for you. God did, and now you are going to thumb your nose at the Universe because it happened quicker than your little mind thought possible. Is that about it?” I took the transfer.
• ·       Unworthiness – Here’s where self-doubt comes into play. We may, for whatever reason – the perfect daily guide, a friend’s encouragement, etc – decide, “Darn it! I’m going to DO this!” whatever “this” is. We pray, we meditate, we make plans and create a goal list and VOILÁ! The object of our desire is before us. The logical thing to do is open our arms wide, embrace the gift and give thanks. But we don’t always do that, do we? Sometimes it’s packaging or timing, but often it can be that now that the object of our desire is before us we start to feel shame, unworthiness or guilt.

Let’s not forget the role that wisdom plays in the power of “yes.” There are some people who tell us to say “Yes!” to everything. I’m not opposed to accepting my good, in fact I welcome it. But let’s understand that if someone suggests you walk out in front of a bus with him, or accept a poisonous snake as a gift, we acknowledge that what we really mean to say “Yes!” to everything that is for our highest good. It’s the process of implied wisdom, using our past experiences in life for a beneficial present and future.

Here’s another way of looking at this. We have enough Easter candy in the house right now to start our own dollar store. If I say “Yes!” to my ever-present chocolate cravings every time I pass by the kitchen counter I’ll soon not fit between the counter and the frig. As my chiropractor (a bodybuilder) pointed out to me recently, I can’t be tempted if it’s not there. Well, there is THAT! But, for now, the candy IS there. I get to decide (on a most frequent schedule) to say “yes” or “no” to yet another piece of chocolate. Based on the way my suit felt yesterday when I wore it I’m choosing to say “no” more often. What “candy of instant gratification” is calling to you right now?

Here’s a suggestion for you to play with over the next week based on the three points outlined above. First, be sure that you really want something before you ask for it and be willing to accept it without deciding exactly how it’s supposed to show up. Second, open the space to accept your good a whole lot quicker than you might be able to imagine. And, third, receive your good with grace and appreciation, knowing that if it’s presented to you that it’s yours to claim! Care to give that a try?

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Living With Instability

It has been said that the only constant is change. That’s a paradox, but quite true. We humans are linear time beings. We tend to fret about what happened in the past and worry about what is to occur in the future. But in truth we have only the present since the past is gone and the future yet to come.

Perhaps that’s one of the reasons we often feel so agitated or unsettled:  We can be so busy pining over the past and wringing our hands about the future that we have no time to enjoy the present. We might crave knowledge of the future so we’ll know exactly what to expect. That would give us a sense of security – no unknown factors! Yea!

The only problem is life just isn’t that way and much of what we have been taught about security is not really all that reliable in the long run. No matter how precisely we plan something it seldom goes exactly the way we thought it would. Sometimes it turns out better than we could imagine; other times it is a mild or major disappointment. Ultimately it usually ends up being just fine. Call as many psychics as you like, burn candles, cast stones and read tea leaves, but to be 100 percent sure something is going to happen means we have to wait to live through it.

The amount of instability we can sometimes feel relates directly to how empowered we feel in any given situation. A woman may decide to conceive a child, but other than scheduling a C-section she has little if any control over when the baby will come. Like the pregnant mother, we may have a time frame (not more than nine months for the mother, thank you very much!), but the exact amount of time for our goals and desires to manifest is often out of our reach. It doesn’t mean we can’t give our goals a date as to when we expect fulfillment of our desires, but that date isn’t written in stone either.

There’s two major ways we can deal with the types of instability we all encounter from time-to-time. One way is to get our knickers in twist about the whole affair, work ourselves into a lather and make most everyone around us wish we were someplace else. Or, we can relax into the peace of mind in knowing that we have done everything possible to affect the changes we desire and recognize that part of the process of creation is letting go of that which no longer serves us. The chick doesn’t grieve the loss of the egg shell, nor the butterfly the confines of its cocoon.

We can learn from the spring growth we are seeing around us this season. Watch as bulbs grow into green stalks that give way to wondrous pallets of color. Think of your own desires as these beautiful flowers and relax into the process of seeing your dreams and goals blossom into grand reality.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Exposed

I’ve been feeling extremely vulnerable lately. It started last Thursday when I got sick with bronchitis and could not to go to work; I’m still recovering. I’m not used to feeling sick or at least so sick that I can hardly move, let alone trying to do all the things I normally do on a weekly basis. It’s left me in the position of relying on others, even to the point of having someone pick up medication for me.

Beyond feeling vulnerable I feel exposed as well. The experience has made me realize how much of my life I’ve had to discuss with my family this week, things that I normally keep to myself because I’m busy being busy. They want me to stay in bed to rest. I try to explain that I have a weekly blog to get out, a talk to write for Sunday, an article to prepare for a publisher due by the end of the month, and another chapter to write for my upcoming book, From the Trailer Park to the Pulpit:  How the wisdom of Grandma Esther helped shaped my life and ministry. The response I got was a blank stare with a slightly raised eyebrow and a stern finger pointed in the direction of the bedroom. For those of you who know my partner, Paul, I need say no more. We’ve gotten used to his British accent, but how he can look at me with a British accent is beyond my comprehension.

Another way I have exposed myself is by sending out a few sections of my new book to people who have agreed to read the sections and critique the direction I’m taking with the project. In doing that I’m exposing my work and leaving myself wide open to criticism, even ridicule. However, there is something else that relying on others during my convalescence and inviting critiques has done for me, and that has been the blessing this week.

Asking others for help allows them to serve us. Most people genuinely want to help and given the opportunity will jump at the chance. When we help others we find our own problems set aside for at least a moment. When we have completed our task and return to our own challenges those problems will often seem less monumental.

In allowing ourselves to be critiqued, be it our writing, a new hairstyle or the possibility of making a major life change, we open ourselves up to two benefits many of us forget might be possible:  agreement and support. Often when we are starting on a project, like writing another book in my case, there may be a bit of doubt in our minds, what I call “fear of success.” It is fear of success, not fear of failure, which stops most of us from being the people we want to be and doing the things we want to do. Yes, I’ve received some hard critiques, but even those have included great support for achieving my goal of having the book published by the end of the year.

Consider opening yourself up a little more this week to people you know you can trust. Can you allow others into your life to help you with a project or support you in a change you want to make? Would you be willing to ask for someone’s opinion, not to make a decision for you, but to garner another, less biased viewpoint? We’re all One in the universal consciousness, but on this earth plane we are here to love and support one another. I invite you to give it a try.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry