Great Expectations

Have you ever suffered disappointment at some time in your life? I suppose that’s a rhetorical question since the answer is, “Well, duh!” We all experience disappointments. Most of my disillusionments have come from when I fall short of reaching my own goals or expectations for myself, not when others fail to live up to my desires. If you, like me, have been given the title of perfectionist (as if that was a badge of shame!), you are well aware that someone who is always striving for perfection is usually harder on him/herself than other people. We SO want to do it “right,” whatever “right” is for us, for others or society. It begs the question, Is perfection is really possible? Are we running on a treadmill of frustration by trying so hard? In fact, why have expectations, great of otherwise, at all?

It’s never perfect and it’s always perfect.

Let me explain what I mean by that. I’ve been privileged to officiant for at least a hundred weddings, holy unions, commitment ceremonies, baptisms, christenings, funerals and memorials over my twenty years in ministry, as well as house blessings, pet blessings and a few exorcisms (more about that another time…). What I can report to you is that when planning the event the people involved want it to be “perfect” – this is particularly true for weddings. The belief is that we have “one shot” to get this right. No retakes. No revisions. One shot. Period.

One of the places I perform weddings in our area has a beautiful, expansive Italian garden. Most brides select a processional that goes from the very top of the gardens to a pavilion at the bottom. With a large wedding party it can take up to seven or eight minutes, but choreographed correctly by “moi” it’s a beautiful and memorable event – unless it rains, as it often can in the summer here in south central Pennsylvania. We had an absolute downpour one day, but the bride was adamant about the processional. So it took place, in the downpour, with huge golf umbrellas provided by the resort for some protection. And … it was perfect.

HOW could have been?!? The couple had great expectations of their special day and a near monsoon was not part of the plan. I’ve heard there’s an Italian tradition that says when it rains on your wedding it means God is showering you with blessings. If that’s the case this couple was blessed beyond all expectation! The bride got exactly what she wanted – a beautiful processional – even if the gown and bridesmaids dresses were a little worse for the wear upon arrival at the lower pavilion. You might think I was dealing with a bridezilla who, come hell or (in this case) high water, was going to have it her way or the highway. Not at all.

I don’t see it that way. If anything, I believe it showed a willingness, tenacity, dedication and determination to fulfill the desire of her fiancé and her. Have you had your plans go array to this extent, or even more severe? Did you think it was a failure and did you suffer the event? It’s never perfect and it’s always perfect. What that means to me is that it, whatever “it” is, is going to be exactly what it’s going to be. We can plan or outline every single detail and be disappointed if things don’t go according to plan, or we can go with the flow and enjoy the moment for what it is. Scripture says, “Time and unforeseen circumstances befall us all.” What does that mean? It means life happens. “Shift” happens.

How we deal with the changes and shifts in life about which we seem to have no control will determine our moods, our attitudes about life, how much people want to be around us, and our future. Without “great expectations” of our future we will most likely end up with a less than a stellar or satisfying life. What do you “expect?” When Emma Curtis Hopkins, New Thought teacher and mental healing expert, was asked by Raymond Charles Barker why she thought a particular case for which she was present seem to have a healing that occurred so quickly and easily. Her answer? “It was what I expected.” Can’t you just imagine in the story of the resurrection of Lazarus when the great teacher Jesus proclaimed, “Lazarus, come out!” but nothing happening? Excuse me? The healing was, again, what he expected.

What do you expect from life, from your future? I invite you this week to think bigger than ever about what you want your life to look like. Would you be willing to do that? You could sit quietly, calm your senses and uncover the joys you desire, the peace you seek and the healings you require. Write those down, without regard to how many come up, and then pick just three. I’m not talking about a new car or a new job. I’m talking about how you envision a peace, a more harmonious life. Then give it to Spirit and expect great things! Let me know how that works out for you!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

The Power of Saying "Yes"

Have you ever wanted something – REALLY wanted something! – but, when it was placed before you there was a moment of hesitation before you accepted it? It’s happened to me. It seems that many of us have a problem saying “yes.” We can be so focused on needing something in our lives that when it (whatever “it” is) appears we find ourselves questioning the arrival. The packaging (or the form in which our good comes to us) may not look like what we expected. It may come quicker than we thought possible. We might even avoid accepting our good because we feel unworthy. So let’s look at some of the reasons that stops us from saying “yes” to life and how to be more receptive to our good.

• ·       Packaging – Wow…that’s a big one in my history. The example I use is the man who asks for help and it comes from the most unexpected source – the mother-in-law he can’t stand! My personal favorite was perfect, Divine Right guidance that came from an ex-lover who owed me money. Accept THAT one! It wasn’t easy, since he had no intention of repaying me, but by gritting my teeth I got the answer I needed to return to “yes,” meaning peace of mind.
• ·       Immediate demonstration – I love this one and, again, I must tell a story on myself about it. I had been dating the man who is now my partner for a little over a year. We had “that talk” and decided we wanted to make a go of it (guess it worked as that was nearly 10 years ago). That meant I had to move, so I put in a transfer with my company at the time, expecting it to take about a year. Instead, I got my transfer in less than a month. We panicked. I panicked! Should I say “no” to the transfer? A wise friend said, “Let me get this straight. You asked God to provide for you. God did, and now you are going to thumb your nose at the Universe because it happened quicker than your little mind thought possible. Is that about it?” I took the transfer.
• ·       Unworthiness – Here’s where self-doubt comes into play. We may, for whatever reason – the perfect daily guide, a friend’s encouragement, etc – decide, “Darn it! I’m going to DO this!” whatever “this” is. We pray, we meditate, we make plans and create a goal list and VOILÁ! The object of our desire is before us. The logical thing to do is open our arms wide, embrace the gift and give thanks. But we don’t always do that, do we? Sometimes it’s packaging or timing, but often it can be that now that the object of our desire is before us we start to feel shame, unworthiness or guilt.

Let’s not forget the role that wisdom plays in the power of “yes.” There are some people who tell us to say “Yes!” to everything. I’m not opposed to accepting my good, in fact I welcome it. But let’s understand that if someone suggests you walk out in front of a bus with him, or accept a poisonous snake as a gift, we acknowledge that what we really mean to say “Yes!” to everything that is for our highest good. It’s the process of implied wisdom, using our past experiences in life for a beneficial present and future.

Here’s another way of looking at this. We have enough Easter candy in the house right now to start our own dollar store. If I say “Yes!” to my ever-present chocolate cravings every time I pass by the kitchen counter I’ll soon not fit between the counter and the frig. As my chiropractor (a bodybuilder) pointed out to me recently, I can’t be tempted if it’s not there. Well, there is THAT! But, for now, the candy IS there. I get to decide (on a most frequent schedule) to say “yes” or “no” to yet another piece of chocolate. Based on the way my suit felt yesterday when I wore it I’m choosing to say “no” more often. What “candy of instant gratification” is calling to you right now?

Here’s a suggestion for you to play with over the next week based on the three points outlined above. First, be sure that you really want something before you ask for it and be willing to accept it without deciding exactly how it’s supposed to show up. Second, open the space to accept your good a whole lot quicker than you might be able to imagine. And, third, receive your good with grace and appreciation, knowing that if it’s presented to you that it’s yours to claim! Care to give that a try?

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

What's in Your Path?

This past Sunday I spoke on the topic of “Clearing Our Path.” The very concept that our paths need to be cleared implies that there is something to clear. We had a lively discussion about what that might be, as well as what our part is in acknowledging blockages.

If there is something that appears to be in your way, blocking the path to your goal, the first step is to recognize the block. Beyond that we need to step back and ask ourselves what our part is in creating that blockage in the first place. I have heard a person say, “I could never learn a new language. I was awful in high school at French.” The block is an unwillingness to entertain the possibility that she could learn a new language. And, she put the block there based on her past experience, which may or may not be based on fact. How often can you remember doing something similar?

In other cases the block might be a person or organization. A partner might be saying s/he doesn’t want us to go away for the weekend with friends to do something that s/he doesn’t want to do, but we do. A supervisor could tell us we need to keep our ideas to ourselves about changes in the company that we feel could benefit everyone. An organization may decide to put restrictions on us we feel are unfair or unreasonable.

Whatever the case, whether it be a block we created consciously or one that appears to coming from someone else, it can be handled the same way. First we have to decide that the block will not stand in the way of achieving our goal. Then we can decide whether to walk through it, around it, over it, under it, blast through it, or simply turn around and take another route that doesn’t include the blockage. However, and you probably guessed there would be a “however,” there is a caveat when it comes to eliminating blockages.

We have freedom of choice, but not of consequence. Refusing to let anyone stand in the way of our happiness is going result in us being much more satisfied with our life. Conversely, it may cause friction with another person or organization. If the latter happens they’ll get over it one way or the other as long as we practice one principle:  Always come from love. Never attempt to dispel a blockage through anger, humiliation, criticism or blame. Heal what needs to be healed within your own consciousness and then, and only then, move forward in love – pure, unconditional love.

Do you have a blockage in some part or parts of your life? Choose one you’d like to handle, heal the issues surrounding it, and lovingly see it dissolve as you proceed toward your goals in pursuit of your vision.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Are You Content or Complacent?

There are an unlimited number of advertisers vying for our attention. Many of these suggest that if we look like, smell like or sound like the digitally-enhanced and airbrushed models in the ads our lives will be complete. It’s a marketing ploy that says, “If you have this (whatever this is), you’ll be happy,” even though looking like those models, even if we wanted to, is usually physically impossible.

I live and teach a philosophy that encourages us to make changes in our lives to better ourselves, if that is our goal. It’s a method of creating results in our lives and a means to have a life not only worth living, but one that is truly magnificent. But some students of our teaching are so busy moving onto the next goal, project or achievement that they seldom stop to enjoy what they have created. Standing still, in their minds, can be easily interpreted as complacency.

Only we can determine whether we are content or complacent. The place to find that answer is deep within our gut. We can ask ourselves at a core level whether or not we are happy. The answer will not come in words, but rather in a sense of calm peacefulness or a gnawing in the pit of our stomach. We then have the opportunity to act on that feeling.

As with any desire, the result of what we are seeking may not always be the thing we seem to want. One whose sole focus is seeking a life partner may miss out on loving relationships all around him. Another who is determined to find a new job may be oblivious to the positive changes occurring in the company in which she is already employed. While we can certainly cultivate desires simply because we want to, it can also be prudent to question our motives as a means to more fully clarify our true intention.

I would ask you, as I’m beginning to ask myself more and more, if the happiness and joy you seek may already be in front of you, but just not showing up in the form your ego is demanding. By all means, continue creating goals and formulate plans to have more good and joy in your life. Just remember to stop and enjoy the contentment you’ve already created!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Do You Have a Dream?

I thought I’d risk being one of many people writing this week about Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Everyone pretty much knows the story of his life, his historical speech in Washington, D.C. and his tragic death. I don’t want to focus on any of those events. I want to focus on what allowed him to succeed where others didn’t seem to be able to do so.

He had a dream – I know, you’ve heard that and it’s no surprise. We all have dreams, but Dr. King truly believed his dream would be reality. Unfortunately, our country has still failed to reach the lofty goals he set for us, but in many ways we are closer than ever before. For us to realize our dreams we must have the patience and the tenacity to hold on to that vision until it moves from the thought to the thing. It is impatience and neglect that causes many dreams to fade away or die an untimely death.

The founder of the Science of Mind philosophy, Dr. Ernest S. Holmes, had a dream, too. He wrote, “We all look forward to the day when science and religion shall walk hand in hand through the visible to the invisible.” We are closer to that dream now than ever before. Quantum physics has proven that we are all one, just energy vibrating at different frequencies. I imagine that Holmes would love to see the advances we’ve made since his death in 1960 to bringing science and religion closer together.

Do you have a dream? I don’t mean something you hope will happen, or something you don’t feel could ever happen, yet you continue to pine for it. I mean a “stomp-your-foot-down-I-know-this-is-possible” dream. Perhaps it is something that you wanted as a child, or a goal you had as a young adult. Something squelched that dream. Is the seed still there deep inside you? It most probably is. Would you be willing to do what it takes to help it germinate once more and assist it to grow into a vibrant, healthy plant?

There is a power within us that knows no boundaries and refuses to accept anything but what it expects. That power is at our disposal all the time, but we have to utilize it. It’s as simple as turning on a light instead of wandering around in a dark room bumping into the furniture. Be willing this week to turn a bright light on your life and remind yourself of what it is you dream could be a reality. The more you know that’s possible the more you’ll believe that in the mind of God it is already a reality.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

It's Time

With the arrival of all the New Year’s resolutions last week I’ve heard, more than once, “It’s about time I                         .” It’s about time. I got to thinking about that while I was listening to a program on NPR this past weekend about how time is inconsistent from one person to another.

“HUH?!?” you might be saying. I know that was my first thought. But then I got to thinking about it. If you’re a five-year-old waiting for Santa Claus to come again it will seem like an eternity. Her grandfather on the other hand is wondering how Christmas got here so fast last year. Why the difference? Part of it goes back to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. For the little girl, a year is one-sixth of her entire life. But for her sixty-five year old granddad, it is only 1/65^th of the time he has spend on this earth.

Another aspect of time is whether or not we are enjoying ourselves. Suppose I’ve returned from a two-week vacation wondering what happened since it seems like I just left. Contrast that with spending three hours in the dentist’s office for a double root canal, which is going to feel like about three weeks. I think you get my point. Rev. Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones suggested in his recent “Huffington Post” column that we be very mindful about what we put on our calendars for 2014. We’ve got this whole blank calendar before us – how much of yours is already filling up? If we have everything planned out to the nth degree it’s pretty unlikely to have any spontaneous experiences.

So for me it’s time; time to stop what I’m doing and take stock of where I am in my life. Perhaps you’d like to join me in this endeavor. We each have approximately 24 hours each day to do what we need to, want to or have to do. On the one hand you could rationalize that we are immortal spiritual beings having a human experience, so it doesn’t much matter if we schedule our time or not since we will always have time. I see the point, but here’s something else to consider. There will never be another “now” in your life. There never has been before “now” and there never will be another one in the future. Even if we are immortal spiritual beings, which I firmly believe, each moment of our existence is a precious commodity to be enjoyed for what it is, nothing more, nothing less.

This makes taking charge of our lives a priority so that the time we are spending is wisely spent with people we want to be with, doing things we want to do, and doing them in the style in which we want to enjoy. There are very few things you “have” to do. There a LOT of things you probably think you “should” do, someone ELSE thinks you “should” do, but very few things you “have” to do.

How about this week, or just for one day this week, you stopping “shoulding” on yourself, refuse to let anyone else “should” on you and just enjoy being the now, experiencing the magnificent being that you are and expression God as only you can. Seriously. It’s time.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry