I am Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I’m on vacation this week – away from home AND away from all my electronic gadgets! I hope this week you’ll enjoy a revised version of a popular article I wrote in 2012. See you next week with something brand new and fresh!

Terry

I am Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Have you ever had one of those days when everyone looks at you like you have green antennae growing out of your head? It’s sort of that “fish out of water” experience; you just don’t feel like you belong.

I grew up, like a lot of my friends, not really feeling at all like I belonged where I was. My trailer park roots are not something of which I am ashamed, but mother always said that I must have been mixed up at Good Samaritan Hospital in Dayton, OH, with a missing baby from the Rockefeller family. My champagne tastes on a beer budget have gotten me in a financial pickle more than once.

But that’s not exactly what I am talking about. Sometimes when we don’t feel like we fit in it’s because we really don’t fit in. That’s not to say we are better than those around us, but we may very well be different. It’s as if we are trying to park diagonally when everyone else is parking parallel. We tend to stand out.

While our school systems would like us to believe that we are educating free-thinkers, the teachers who allow students to think outside the box are few and far between. Today many educators are more concerned with test scores and measurements than they are with teaching our young people how to reason or think creatively. When a child does not conform to the norms of the school or society she or he can be set apart as undesirable.

We must each decide how much we wish to fit in without jeopardizing our individuality. At the same time we can be more loving in how much latitude we give to those around us in how they choose to express their individuality. Just because we are different than those around us, or around those who are unlike us, it doesn’t mean we or they are wrong. Neither should it require anything more than a change of outlook. It means each of us is uniquely qualified to express life in a way that no one else can. That is something to be celebrated, not repressed.

Perhaps this week you can cut yourself some slack if you find your decisions are going against the grain of those around you. We needn’t make others wrong to justify our actions. But, we can believe in ourselves, knowing that we are acting in a matter which is best for us.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

The Power of Saying "Yes"

Have you ever wanted something – REALLY wanted something! – but, when it was placed before you there was a moment of hesitation before you accepted it? It’s happened to me. It seems that many of us have a problem saying “yes.” We can be so focused on needing something in our lives that when it (whatever “it” is) appears we find ourselves questioning the arrival. The packaging (or the form in which our good comes to us) may not look like what we expected. It may come quicker than we thought possible. We might even avoid accepting our good because we feel unworthy. So let’s look at some of the reasons that stops us from saying “yes” to life and how to be more receptive to our good.

• ·       Packaging – Wow…that’s a big one in my history. The example I use is the man who asks for help and it comes from the most unexpected source – the mother-in-law he can’t stand! My personal favorite was perfect, Divine Right guidance that came from an ex-lover who owed me money. Accept THAT one! It wasn’t easy, since he had no intention of repaying me, but by gritting my teeth I got the answer I needed to return to “yes,” meaning peace of mind.
• ·       Immediate demonstration – I love this one and, again, I must tell a story on myself about it. I had been dating the man who is now my partner for a little over a year. We had “that talk” and decided we wanted to make a go of it (guess it worked as that was nearly 10 years ago). That meant I had to move, so I put in a transfer with my company at the time, expecting it to take about a year. Instead, I got my transfer in less than a month. We panicked. I panicked! Should I say “no” to the transfer? A wise friend said, “Let me get this straight. You asked God to provide for you. God did, and now you are going to thumb your nose at the Universe because it happened quicker than your little mind thought possible. Is that about it?” I took the transfer.
• ·       Unworthiness – Here’s where self-doubt comes into play. We may, for whatever reason – the perfect daily guide, a friend’s encouragement, etc – decide, “Darn it! I’m going to DO this!” whatever “this” is. We pray, we meditate, we make plans and create a goal list and VOILÁ! The object of our desire is before us. The logical thing to do is open our arms wide, embrace the gift and give thanks. But we don’t always do that, do we? Sometimes it’s packaging or timing, but often it can be that now that the object of our desire is before us we start to feel shame, unworthiness or guilt.

Let’s not forget the role that wisdom plays in the power of “yes.” There are some people who tell us to say “Yes!” to everything. I’m not opposed to accepting my good, in fact I welcome it. But let’s understand that if someone suggests you walk out in front of a bus with him, or accept a poisonous snake as a gift, we acknowledge that what we really mean to say “Yes!” to everything that is for our highest good. It’s the process of implied wisdom, using our past experiences in life for a beneficial present and future.

Here’s another way of looking at this. We have enough Easter candy in the house right now to start our own dollar store. If I say “Yes!” to my ever-present chocolate cravings every time I pass by the kitchen counter I’ll soon not fit between the counter and the frig. As my chiropractor (a bodybuilder) pointed out to me recently, I can’t be tempted if it’s not there. Well, there is THAT! But, for now, the candy IS there. I get to decide (on a most frequent schedule) to say “yes” or “no” to yet another piece of chocolate. Based on the way my suit felt yesterday when I wore it I’m choosing to say “no” more often. What “candy of instant gratification” is calling to you right now?

Here’s a suggestion for you to play with over the next week based on the three points outlined above. First, be sure that you really want something before you ask for it and be willing to accept it without deciding exactly how it’s supposed to show up. Second, open the space to accept your good a whole lot quicker than you might be able to imagine. And, third, receive your good with grace and appreciation, knowing that if it’s presented to you that it’s yours to claim! Care to give that a try?

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Are You Content or Complacent?

There are an unlimited number of advertisers vying for our attention. Many of these suggest that if we look like, smell like or sound like the digitally-enhanced and airbrushed models in the ads our lives will be complete. It’s a marketing ploy that says, “If you have this (whatever this is), you’ll be happy,” even though looking like those models, even if we wanted to, is usually physically impossible.

I live and teach a philosophy that encourages us to make changes in our lives to better ourselves, if that is our goal. It’s a method of creating results in our lives and a means to have a life not only worth living, but one that is truly magnificent. But some students of our teaching are so busy moving onto the next goal, project or achievement that they seldom stop to enjoy what they have created. Standing still, in their minds, can be easily interpreted as complacency.

Only we can determine whether we are content or complacent. The place to find that answer is deep within our gut. We can ask ourselves at a core level whether or not we are happy. The answer will not come in words, but rather in a sense of calm peacefulness or a gnawing in the pit of our stomach. We then have the opportunity to act on that feeling.

As with any desire, the result of what we are seeking may not always be the thing we seem to want. One whose sole focus is seeking a life partner may miss out on loving relationships all around him. Another who is determined to find a new job may be oblivious to the positive changes occurring in the company in which she is already employed. While we can certainly cultivate desires simply because we want to, it can also be prudent to question our motives as a means to more fully clarify our true intention.

I would ask you, as I’m beginning to ask myself more and more, if the happiness and joy you seek may already be in front of you, but just not showing up in the form your ego is demanding. By all means, continue creating goals and formulate plans to have more good and joy in your life. Just remember to stop and enjoy the contentment you’ve already created!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

It's Time

With the arrival of all the New Year’s resolutions last week I’ve heard, more than once, “It’s about time I                         .” It’s about time. I got to thinking about that while I was listening to a program on NPR this past weekend about how time is inconsistent from one person to another.

“HUH?!?” you might be saying. I know that was my first thought. But then I got to thinking about it. If you’re a five-year-old waiting for Santa Claus to come again it will seem like an eternity. Her grandfather on the other hand is wondering how Christmas got here so fast last year. Why the difference? Part of it goes back to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. For the little girl, a year is one-sixth of her entire life. But for her sixty-five year old granddad, it is only 1/65^th of the time he has spend on this earth.

Another aspect of time is whether or not we are enjoying ourselves. Suppose I’ve returned from a two-week vacation wondering what happened since it seems like I just left. Contrast that with spending three hours in the dentist’s office for a double root canal, which is going to feel like about three weeks. I think you get my point. Rev. Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones suggested in his recent “Huffington Post” column that we be very mindful about what we put on our calendars for 2014. We’ve got this whole blank calendar before us – how much of yours is already filling up? If we have everything planned out to the nth degree it’s pretty unlikely to have any spontaneous experiences.

So for me it’s time; time to stop what I’m doing and take stock of where I am in my life. Perhaps you’d like to join me in this endeavor. We each have approximately 24 hours each day to do what we need to, want to or have to do. On the one hand you could rationalize that we are immortal spiritual beings having a human experience, so it doesn’t much matter if we schedule our time or not since we will always have time. I see the point, but here’s something else to consider. There will never be another “now” in your life. There never has been before “now” and there never will be another one in the future. Even if we are immortal spiritual beings, which I firmly believe, each moment of our existence is a precious commodity to be enjoyed for what it is, nothing more, nothing less.

This makes taking charge of our lives a priority so that the time we are spending is wisely spent with people we want to be with, doing things we want to do, and doing them in the style in which we want to enjoy. There are very few things you “have” to do. There a LOT of things you probably think you “should” do, someone ELSE thinks you “should” do, but very few things you “have” to do.

How about this week, or just for one day this week, you stopping “shoulding” on yourself, refuse to let anyone else “should” on you and just enjoy being the now, experiencing the magnificent being that you are and expression God as only you can. Seriously. It’s time.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry