"The Glitter and the Glue"

I came upon a delightful book in my travels this week. The author is Kelly Corrigan (http://kellycorrigan.com) and her new work is entitled, Glitter and Glue. The book is based on a comment her mother once made. It seems in their family her father was the glitter and her mother was the glue. I knew I had to blog about that.

What a wonderful metaphor! Then I thought about Mardi Gras this week. Talk about glitter! But have you ever seen Bourbon Street in New Orleans on Ash Wednesday morning? It’s not pretty. It is, however, quite an affront to our olfactory and visual abilities. Glitter can make quite the mess. Even on greeting cards, it’s the glue that holds (most) of the glitter in place for our enjoyment.

Whether it’s greeting cards or fantastic costumes at Mardi Gras in New Orleans and Carnival in Rio, there’s an awful lot of structure, fasteners, stitching and, of course, glue that allow us to enjoy the sparkle of pageantry and spectacle. The same is true of our lives. We can’t have the freedom to express our personal glitter in life if we don’t have a firm foundation gluing our consciousness to immutable principles.

Perhaps you can join me in noticing when you are the glitter and when you are the glue as you move through the next few days. Let go of “trying” to be yourself and just “be” your authentic self. Don’t know how to do that? Start with eliminating the judgment you hold on your hopes and dreams. Add to that a willingness to give up the desire to please everyone around you and begin to embrace a higher level of self-care than you’ve experienced before now.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Being Successful Isn't Hard

It’s funny how “stuff” from growing up can still be echoing in our minds far into adulthood. I was taught by my father that we’d never have enough money and that there would always be more bills than money. Sometimes our family couldn’t get ends to meet, but at least if the ends waved at each other in passing we felt like we’d accomplished something.

Perhaps you were taught that you had to work hard to make a living. You may also believe that being successful requires a lot of hard word, i.e. long, arduous hours; sacrificing all personal time; never taking vacations; maybe stepping on more than a few people; or, knocking them off the next rung of the ladder.

On the other hand, you may have adopted the “fake it until you make it” stance or preach that if you just believe you are successful you will be. That creates a VERY wide gulf between the “work hard to make a living” folks and the blissful dears who are still waiting for their dreams to come true without doing anything about it.

What we believe IS what occurs in our life. Not immediately, thankfully, .e.g. “I wish I was dead!” That’s a great example of the difference between what we say and what we believe. If we had the concrete beliefs of Jesus of Nazareth, Paramahansa Yogananda and other people we consider masters we, too, would have a lot more of what we want in our lives a whole lot quicker.

A common belief is that being a success is hard. It isn’t. I’m not saying there isn’t work involved, because there most certainly is. We just have to redefine our thoughts around the work that usually accompanies success. The word “work” comes from the same root as does the word worship. Do you find your spiritual practice work? I certainly hope not! So what if your work was an act of worship? If you had the same confidence in your success as you do in God, Spirit, Divine Love or whatever you call your Higher Power? Hmmmmm……things that make you go, Hmmmmm.

Do you realize how many people out there are trying to sell you their technique to get ahead in the world, to be a success and make a lot of money? Some are marketing valid and proven techniques, some are selling snake oil, but all are bent on convincing you that they have worked their fingers to the bone to create a system to make it easy for you to be just like them, and all for a mere two, three or more thousand dollars of training after training after training. Maybe you can even become a certified trainer in their method to teach others how to channel money back to them. I find that dizzying.

In the words of Mike Dooley, the “folks who meet with life success and then tell the world it was due to their hard work, … almost NEVER work harder than others. They don't even work smarter than others. They simply leveraged the magic by thinking, speaking, and acting in line with what they wanted.” How about this week we all think about leveraging our efforts through doing just that:  thinking, speaking and acting in line with what we want.

Just one thing:  YOU have to figure out what you want. Oh-oh…there’s another one of those “Hmmmm” moments.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Will You Be My Valentine?

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Thanks to mass marketing wanting us to believe everyone should be in a fairy tale relationship, February 14 can mean expectations from those in relationships and gloom for singles.

Someone told me that Valentine’s Day doesn’t matter because “it is just a made-up holiday” and, therefore, we really don’t need to celebrate it since it’s really about retail sales of chocolate and flowers. A word to the wise? If you feel this way and haven’t expressed it to your beloved you might want to broach the subject before tomorrow, least s/he have expectations to which you  might otherwise fail to meet. Not that we’re here to make each other happy – that’s an inside job! – but avoided a fight would be preferable , in my humble opinion.

Valentine’s Day, made up, commercial or otherwise, is a fact that seems here to stay. We can choose to celebrate it, ignore it, or allow it to ruin our day, week or month. “It” doesn’t do anything to us. As with everything else in life, we have a choice whether to affect our experience through empowered thinking or be at the effect of the situation.

If we are single this is not the time to run out and find the flavor of the month date to try to mold some poor sod into the romantic valentine about which we dream. If our committed relationship is not where we want it to be, then take action now to clarify the union.  Celebrating a love holiday as if all is wonderful when the partners are not happy is like whipped cream on top of garbage. The outer appearance looks fine for a day, but once the glare of reality and heat of conflict returns the whipped cream sours and melts into the strife we had before February 14.

All of our relationships are sacred, though we often fail to treat them that way. Communication is the most important factor in any relationship because everything else follows in line after concise and clear communication. “He should know what I’m thinking” is ridiculous. Half the time we don’t seem to know what we want ourselves. How the heck are others supposed to figure it out!

Resolve to have the happiest Valentine’s Day ever. It might be with the one you love more than anyone. It might be with the family unit you’ve come to call your own. It might be with the relationship you have with yourself, Nature or your Higher Power. Whatever it is for you, rejoice in it, love it and commit to that kind of deep and enduring integrity all year long.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Are You Content or Complacent?

There are an unlimited number of advertisers vying for our attention. Many of these suggest that if we look like, smell like or sound like the digitally-enhanced and airbrushed models in the ads our lives will be complete. It’s a marketing ploy that says, “If you have this (whatever this is), you’ll be happy,” even though looking like those models, even if we wanted to, is usually physically impossible.

I live and teach a philosophy that encourages us to make changes in our lives to better ourselves, if that is our goal. It’s a method of creating results in our lives and a means to have a life not only worth living, but one that is truly magnificent. But some students of our teaching are so busy moving onto the next goal, project or achievement that they seldom stop to enjoy what they have created. Standing still, in their minds, can be easily interpreted as complacency.

Only we can determine whether we are content or complacent. The place to find that answer is deep within our gut. We can ask ourselves at a core level whether or not we are happy. The answer will not come in words, but rather in a sense of calm peacefulness or a gnawing in the pit of our stomach. We then have the opportunity to act on that feeling.

As with any desire, the result of what we are seeking may not always be the thing we seem to want. One whose sole focus is seeking a life partner may miss out on loving relationships all around him. Another who is determined to find a new job may be oblivious to the positive changes occurring in the company in which she is already employed. While we can certainly cultivate desires simply because we want to, it can also be prudent to question our motives as a means to more fully clarify our true intention.

I would ask you, as I’m beginning to ask myself more and more, if the happiness and joy you seek may already be in front of you, but just not showing up in the form your ego is demanding. By all means, continue creating goals and formulate plans to have more good and joy in your life. Just remember to stop and enjoy the contentment you’ve already created!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Exposed

I’ve been feeling extremely vulnerable lately. It started last Thursday when I got sick with bronchitis and could not to go to work; I’m still recovering. I’m not used to feeling sick or at least so sick that I can hardly move, let alone trying to do all the things I normally do on a weekly basis. It’s left me in the position of relying on others, even to the point of having someone pick up medication for me.

Beyond feeling vulnerable I feel exposed as well. The experience has made me realize how much of my life I’ve had to discuss with my family this week, things that I normally keep to myself because I’m busy being busy. They want me to stay in bed to rest. I try to explain that I have a weekly blog to get out, a talk to write for Sunday, an article to prepare for a publisher due by the end of the month, and another chapter to write for my upcoming book, From the Trailer Park to the Pulpit:  How the wisdom of Grandma Esther helped shaped my life and ministry. The response I got was a blank stare with a slightly raised eyebrow and a stern finger pointed in the direction of the bedroom. For those of you who know my partner, Paul, I need say no more. We’ve gotten used to his British accent, but how he can look at me with a British accent is beyond my comprehension.

Another way I have exposed myself is by sending out a few sections of my new book to people who have agreed to read the sections and critique the direction I’m taking with the project. In doing that I’m exposing my work and leaving myself wide open to criticism, even ridicule. However, there is something else that relying on others during my convalescence and inviting critiques has done for me, and that has been the blessing this week.

Asking others for help allows them to serve us. Most people genuinely want to help and given the opportunity will jump at the chance. When we help others we find our own problems set aside for at least a moment. When we have completed our task and return to our own challenges those problems will often seem less monumental.

In allowing ourselves to be critiqued, be it our writing, a new hairstyle or the possibility of making a major life change, we open ourselves up to two benefits many of us forget might be possible:  agreement and support. Often when we are starting on a project, like writing another book in my case, there may be a bit of doubt in our minds, what I call “fear of success.” It is fear of success, not fear of failure, which stops most of us from being the people we want to be and doing the things we want to do. Yes, I’ve received some hard critiques, but even those have included great support for achieving my goal of having the book published by the end of the year.

Consider opening yourself up a little more this week to people you know you can trust. Can you allow others into your life to help you with a project or support you in a change you want to make? Would you be willing to ask for someone’s opinion, not to make a decision for you, but to garner another, less biased viewpoint? We’re all One in the universal consciousness, but on this earth plane we are here to love and support one another. I invite you to give it a try.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Do You Have a Dream?

I thought I’d risk being one of many people writing this week about Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Everyone pretty much knows the story of his life, his historical speech in Washington, D.C. and his tragic death. I don’t want to focus on any of those events. I want to focus on what allowed him to succeed where others didn’t seem to be able to do so.

He had a dream – I know, you’ve heard that and it’s no surprise. We all have dreams, but Dr. King truly believed his dream would be reality. Unfortunately, our country has still failed to reach the lofty goals he set for us, but in many ways we are closer than ever before. For us to realize our dreams we must have the patience and the tenacity to hold on to that vision until it moves from the thought to the thing. It is impatience and neglect that causes many dreams to fade away or die an untimely death.

The founder of the Science of Mind philosophy, Dr. Ernest S. Holmes, had a dream, too. He wrote, “We all look forward to the day when science and religion shall walk hand in hand through the visible to the invisible.” We are closer to that dream now than ever before. Quantum physics has proven that we are all one, just energy vibrating at different frequencies. I imagine that Holmes would love to see the advances we’ve made since his death in 1960 to bringing science and religion closer together.

Do you have a dream? I don’t mean something you hope will happen, or something you don’t feel could ever happen, yet you continue to pine for it. I mean a “stomp-your-foot-down-I-know-this-is-possible” dream. Perhaps it is something that you wanted as a child, or a goal you had as a young adult. Something squelched that dream. Is the seed still there deep inside you? It most probably is. Would you be willing to do what it takes to help it germinate once more and assist it to grow into a vibrant, healthy plant?

There is a power within us that knows no boundaries and refuses to accept anything but what it expects. That power is at our disposal all the time, but we have to utilize it. It’s as simple as turning on a light instead of wandering around in a dark room bumping into the furniture. Be willing this week to turn a bright light on your life and remind yourself of what it is you dream could be a reality. The more you know that’s possible the more you’ll believe that in the mind of God it is already a reality.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

It's Time

With the arrival of all the New Year’s resolutions last week I’ve heard, more than once, “It’s about time I                         .” It’s about time. I got to thinking about that while I was listening to a program on NPR this past weekend about how time is inconsistent from one person to another.

“HUH?!?” you might be saying. I know that was my first thought. But then I got to thinking about it. If you’re a five-year-old waiting for Santa Claus to come again it will seem like an eternity. Her grandfather on the other hand is wondering how Christmas got here so fast last year. Why the difference? Part of it goes back to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. For the little girl, a year is one-sixth of her entire life. But for her sixty-five year old granddad, it is only 1/65^th of the time he has spend on this earth.

Another aspect of time is whether or not we are enjoying ourselves. Suppose I’ve returned from a two-week vacation wondering what happened since it seems like I just left. Contrast that with spending three hours in the dentist’s office for a double root canal, which is going to feel like about three weeks. I think you get my point. Rev. Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones suggested in his recent “Huffington Post” column that we be very mindful about what we put on our calendars for 2014. We’ve got this whole blank calendar before us – how much of yours is already filling up? If we have everything planned out to the nth degree it’s pretty unlikely to have any spontaneous experiences.

So for me it’s time; time to stop what I’m doing and take stock of where I am in my life. Perhaps you’d like to join me in this endeavor. We each have approximately 24 hours each day to do what we need to, want to or have to do. On the one hand you could rationalize that we are immortal spiritual beings having a human experience, so it doesn’t much matter if we schedule our time or not since we will always have time. I see the point, but here’s something else to consider. There will never be another “now” in your life. There never has been before “now” and there never will be another one in the future. Even if we are immortal spiritual beings, which I firmly believe, each moment of our existence is a precious commodity to be enjoyed for what it is, nothing more, nothing less.

This makes taking charge of our lives a priority so that the time we are spending is wisely spent with people we want to be with, doing things we want to do, and doing them in the style in which we want to enjoy. There are very few things you “have” to do. There a LOT of things you probably think you “should” do, someone ELSE thinks you “should” do, but very few things you “have” to do.

How about this week, or just for one day this week, you stopping “shoulding” on yourself, refuse to let anyone else “should” on you and just enjoy being the now, experiencing the magnificent being that you are and expression God as only you can. Seriously. It’s time.

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry