Have you ever done a Google
search on phobias? Even for professional therapists it can be an eye-opening
exercise. Just yesterday a colleague introduced me to a new one – FOMO. The acronym
stands for the “Fear Of Missing Out.”
Teenagers, especially, have had
this affliction for decades. There are so many things from which to choose in
school – drama club, sports, etc – and it’s nearly impossible to do everything,
though God knows many try. Everyone wants to be seen here or there with this
one or that one. What to do?
Part of this phenomenon is caused
by the way we are overly-informed in our techno-cyber society. I’ve written
about this in the past and I’ll be address it again with regard to
relationships and trust in next week’s blog. But it’s not just teenagers and we
can’t blame it all on our smart phones. So what is really behind this
unreasonable fear?
A friend of mine called this week
in a complete knickers-in-a-twist state. The issue was attending a function
(which he admitted he didn’t really have any desire to attend) or not to go
(but if he didn’t go what would he miss?). GET A GRIP! What earth-shattering
announcement, pronouncement or experience might he be missing? Doesn’t that fly
in the face of knowing that the Universe supports us in supplying everything we
need?
Of course it does. Ernest Holmes
describes “fear” as faith misplaced. Fear is not a lack of faith. It is faith
in a negative outcome, one which we do not wish to experience. Fear leads to
worry. Worry leads to stress. And long-term stress leads to at least a pimple
if not a heart attack. What could possibly be worth either one?
Fear of missing out is based in a
consciousness of lack and a belief that we aren’t enough. I have a man in my
life that I consider a multi-lifetime soul mate. He’s torn in his love for
three different men: one whom he loves, another whom he likes and a third man that
brings impossible to a whole new level (at least in his mind). Which one will
he choose? He’s getting very close to making a decision. But will it be the
right one?
Whomever he chooses will be the right
one for now; which boyfriend he chooses is quite irrelevant. By making a
definite choice to which we can fully commit the Universe supports us in seeing
that decision to its conclusion. When we do that we are often filled with a
sense of peace of mind and clarity that was impossible to experience while we
were stuck in FOMO. When we stay stuck in the muddle and anxiety of FOMO the
Universe can only support us in continuing the chaos. Love in, love out. Chaos
in, chaos out. Simple.
As Grandma Esther used to tell
me, “For God’s sake, Terry, make a decision, even if it’s wrong!” I don’t
believe necessarily that we make wrong decisions (though it can seem that way
in hindsight), but she was basically right. Fully committing to a course of
action may lead to our desired goal. Or, we may receive more clarity to move us
closer to what we want. Either way, it’s impossible to miss out on life and our
friends and family will appreciate that we’ve stopped constantly bitching. This
week stop kvetching about whatever it is you’ve been making the object of your
anxiety and make a decision. Get out of the muck and start enjoying life!
In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,
Terry
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