Thursday, June 06, 2013

A New Phobia

Have you ever done a Google search on phobias? Even for professional therapists it can be an eye-opening exercise. Just yesterday a colleague introduced me to a new one – FOMO. The acronym stands for the “Fear Of Missing Out.”

Teenagers, especially, have had this affliction for decades. There are so many things from which to choose in school – drama club, sports, etc – and it’s nearly impossible to do everything, though God knows many try. Everyone wants to be seen here or there with this one or that one. What to do?

Part of this phenomenon is caused by the way we are overly-informed in our techno-cyber society. I’ve written about this in the past and I’ll be address it again with regard to relationships and trust in next week’s blog. But it’s not just teenagers and we can’t blame it all on our smart phones. So what is really behind this unreasonable fear?

A friend of mine called this week in a complete knickers-in-a-twist state. The issue was attending a function (which he admitted he didn’t really have any desire to attend) or not to go (but if he didn’t go what would he miss?). GET A GRIP! What earth-shattering announcement, pronouncement or experience might he be missing? Doesn’t that fly in the face of knowing that the Universe supports us in supplying everything we need?

Of course it does. Ernest Holmes describes “fear” as faith misplaced. Fear is not a lack of faith. It is faith in a negative outcome, one which we do not wish to experience. Fear leads to worry. Worry leads to stress. And long-term stress leads to at least a pimple if not a heart attack. What could possibly be worth either one?

Fear of missing out is based in a consciousness of lack and a belief that we aren’t enough. I have a man in my life that I consider a multi-lifetime soul mate. He’s torn in his love for three different men: one whom he loves, another whom he likes and a third man that brings impossible to a whole new level (at least in his mind). Which one will he choose? He’s getting very close to making a decision. But will it be the right one?

Whomever he chooses will be the right one for now; which boyfriend he chooses is quite irrelevant. By making a definite choice to which we can fully commit the Universe supports us in seeing that decision to its conclusion. When we do that we are often filled with a sense of peace of mind and clarity that was impossible to experience while we were stuck in FOMO. When we stay stuck in the muddle and anxiety of FOMO the Universe can only support us in continuing the chaos. Love in, love out. Chaos in, chaos out. Simple.

As Grandma Esther used to tell me, “For God’s sake, Terry, make a decision, even if it’s wrong!” I don’t believe necessarily that we make wrong decisions (though it can seem that way in hindsight), but she was basically right. Fully committing to a course of action may lead to our desired goal. Or, we may receive more clarity to move us closer to what we want. Either way, it’s impossible to miss out on life and our friends and family will appreciate that we’ve stopped constantly bitching. This week stop kvetching about whatever it is you’ve been making the object of your anxiety and make a decision. Get out of the muck and start enjoying life!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

No comments: