Tuesday, November 02, 2004

How's Your "Busyness"?

First, I hope each of you in the USA have or will vote today. I'm planning on a walk to my polling place to enjoy the brisk fall weather before it starts raining later. Exercise your right to vote! My Grandpa Jack never voted. Didn't want to; and, didn't intend to. So whenever he'd start complaining about politics, my Uncle Vince would say, "Jack, You don't vote, so you don't get to bitch!" Good point, dontcha think?

Now, back to why I'm writing today. I woke up pleasantly this morning, without the use of an alarm. I had a good night's sleep and was in a delightful mood. And yet, I felt a little "off". After sitting down at my desk with my coffee and getting into the day's work of computer files, documentation, phones calls and email, I felt excited and frenetic. That's why I stopped. I don't want to feel frenetic.

I want to have a calm and peaceful life, one filled with joy, love and playfulness. So why was I "feeling better" when I was actually all anxious and stressed inside?

Part of it is the answer to why so many women stay in abusive relationships: Familiarity. As humans, we like to feel comfortable, even if the situation that is making us feel comfortable is unpleasant or even dangerous. Grandma Esther used to say that the good thing about being up to your neck in horses*&t was that eventually you get used to the smell and at least it's warm. Sound familiar? There are many abused women who have reported that even though their husbands or boyfriends beat them, at least they have a home to live in. It's not right to have to put up with abuse in our lives. NEVER. But guess who is our biggest abuser? Us. Most people abuse themselves far more than they are abused by others.

My cross to break (not bear, thank you very much) this time around is that I feel I must always be doing SOMETHING, or I'm not doing my job. So, part of my healing process and growth is to do nothing and do it more often.

That's why even if you have a successful business it can easily become a stressful "busyness". The next time you feel stressed, ask yourself: "Why am I doing this?" Is it something that is a life and death situation, something you just cannot walk away from for a few minutes? The answer may surprise you.

The trick is to act on your answer, walk away, and return to whatever it is with a better attitude...or, perhaps in some cases, not at all. It's like the rest of life: It's a choice. You get to make that choice. How will you choose?

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,
Dr. Terry

No comments: